I'll Never Write a Novel

The Cake Challenge

2010-04-26T10:14:00.000-07:00

I was a lucky little kid. This is true on so many levels, but today's topic is birthday cakes. And I had some cool ones. My favorite, of course, was the Barbie cake. It was the coolest cake. Ever. My mom had a friend who owned a bakery. Beck's Bakery, in Fircrest, was the closest thing I have ever seen in the Tacoma area that rivals the bakeries in my neighborhood. I assume it was modeled after the East Coast awesomeness. And I know my mom loved Beck's because of it. And, Mrs. Beck loved us kids. She was an amazing gal to know as a little kid. She was so nice and sweet (no pun intended) and you always got a free cookie or something delicious out of a trip to Beck's Bakery. Oh, and, you got kick booty b-day cakes. And the Creme-De la-Creme was the doll cake. Usually* there was a whole Barbie (or Barbie knock-off) standing in a dress made out of cakie wonderfulness. C'mon, you just can't beat that. Cake and a doll?! Too cool. (I say "usually", because I distinctly recall one cake that just had a torso and head. Yikes.)

And, now, living in bakery mecca my daughter has seen the Barbie cake and instantly recognized it's magnificence. Her first glimpse: A sight to behold rotating on a stand in the window of La Guli. She began requesting a Barbie cake at least six-months ago. And we kept saying, "for your birthday." So she began to pass by the bakery saying, "I'm going to get a Barbie cake for my birthday." We continued to agree. It never occurred to us to ask how much one would cost, we'd just enthusiastically promise Gwen the coolest birthday cake. Ever. Wanna see what they look like so you can agree? Click here then scroll through a couple images. If you want to see even more extraordinary images just do a google search. Ahh-mazing.

As Little G's birthday quickly approached The Dad Guy and I decided to find out how much it would be to procure fantasy cake. Then we found out. Now, for all the work that goes into such a masterpiece, and knowing how delicious this bakery's goods are, the price is not absurd. But when you think about the fact that we aren't likely serving more that 5 people cake, it's ridiculous. $80-90+. Seriously. But no other cake will do for our girl. I think she'd genuinely wonder where her Barbie cake is if we didn't deliver on the promise we made this week (her birthday is Thursday). So, what's a family with big promises and small wallets to do? Bake your own, you say? Well, that's what we are about to do.

I am taking on the crazy task... mission... nay, quest, of baking a Barbie cake. I am no crafter. I've got no secret cake decorating skills up my sleeve. I am just a girl, standing in front of an oven, trying to make her daughter happy. I have watched a couple tutorials on You Tube. I have selected the Belle doll to inhabit the cake. All the appropriate supplies have been obtained after stops at a lot of stores. And now, via the internets, I have announced to the public that I am reaching way beyond my capabilities to bake the improbable. I mean, I can't say it's impossible. Clearly, it's possible to do. It's just a stretch for this little lady.

The stats:
Doll: Beauty and the Beast's very own Belle. Her dress just screams to be recreated in frosting, right? Plus, the one I purchases actually has her top moulded to the body.
Cake: Basic 1-2-3-4 Cake
Frosting: Cream Cheese Buttercream. I hope I bought enough yellow food coloring.

The best skills that I bring to the project, I think, are a) my tremendous love for my daughter and my joy in her happiness; b) lots of experience eating cake (and enjoying the doll variety quite a bit); c) even more experience playing with Barbie.

So, now you know. You are officially on the Barbie Cake Journey with me. If you have any advice or words of encouragement, please do not hesitate to share with me. Isn't that what the comments section is for? Now that this is public knowledge I can't really back out. You're counting on a picture, right? I guess it better look good.

Happy Anniversary, Broadway Show!

2010-04-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

I just want to take a moment to say congrats to my hubby's big Broadway show. When he was offered a year-long contract on the project we both thought getting to the one-year mark was a long shot. We were excited about the prospect, but reticent about this small show about a pretty messed up family making it. But, here we are. With three Tony Awards and the Pulitzer added to the legacy, it seems to have worked out A-Okay.

We were talking the other night about how fun opening night was. It was a true highlight of our lives together. Uncomplicated joy. The show was perfection, the reviews brilliant, and the party was one for the record books. It was simply so much fun. We stayed out till the wee hours with my in-laws and loved every minute of it. There are few nights in life that can ever be so effortlessly exciting and surprising. This was one of them. I am sure there will be more opening nights in the future, but it was all new, and firsts, and amazing. I will never forget it.

So, here's to an amazing year and to enjoying the landmarks moments in all our lives!

Living the Dream

2010-04-13T10:43:00.001-07:00

When I was in junior high I wrote a short story in which I won the Pulitzer Prize. I can't remember all the details of the story, but it had to involve science, as I recall. It was for Mr. Williams' science class so, hmm, not sure how all that goes together. And I think there was a beach involved.

And, yesterday, I think I found myself remembering that story as I came as close as I think I ever will to the Pulitzer announcement directly effecting me. The Dad Guy's show won the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. Only seven other musicals have ever received the honor (can you say, "South Pacific," "A Chorus Line," "Sunday in the Park With George"!?). My mind is blown at the amazing fortune and blessing it has been to have our family involved in such a beautiful, important, moving, and good piece of theatre. And, now I am a little linked to that Pulitzer Prize I have dreamt about. Pretty cool, if you ask me.

By the way, I am not sure what my hubby thinks he'll do after this. How do you top this? In G's parlance, "Oh, that's what I am talking about... I'm talking about getting a Tony award!" Goal set.

It's My Party

2010-04-06T14:27:00.000-07:00

I am sick of hosting my pity party these days. The Dad Guy and I were joking that at this party there is a pile of lemons. Perhaps a guest could suggest making some lemonade. I would likely just tell them that they are just there for sucking on. Bad attitude.

At Mass on Easter Sunday the pastor suggested something that I had been thinking about recently; that although Lent ends on Easter, the Easter season is just beginning. I didn't really do a great job of Lent this year. I was incredibly distracted, out of sorts (literally and figuratively) and hosting the aforementioned party more than I would like. I felt like I was already making enough sacrifices, so I didn't do anything "special" for Lent. It's more like I did Lent by accident. It wasn't thoughtful or purposeful and perhaps it was exactly what it should have been this year for me. But the 40 days between Easter and Ascension are a time of renewal of thoughtful engagement, and not focusing on suffering. It is a time in which Jesus fully lived and God shared the Holy Spirit with us. With the suffering going on around me, I think it's the perfect time for me to acknowledge joy and especially see the ways Jesus is risen and present in my every day. Instead of "giving something up" it can be a time to say "yes" to the world and to the risen Christ in everyone, and embrace life. It is time to be filled, on-fire with The Spirit. So, I intend to spend the next several weeks really living. So, less pity party and more party party. Today Gwen, Thomas and I went out for ice cream cones (Thomas will get his share later). It was time to enjoy the sun and have an ice cream social. And it was fun.

Jesus was among the living and it's the least I can do to attempt to do the same.

Let's Try This Again

2010-04-04T17:30:00.000-07:00

Well, clearly I am not writing a novel. Alas, I am not even writing a blog.

Looking for focus. I am not sure what thoughts and ideas are worth posting here, but maybe if I just start writing, even if I don't know what I am going to write, I'll get some ideas.

Here are a couple topics to muse upon...

The Boy
Since my last post we have added Thomas Richard to the clan. He's darling and a great baby. While staying with my dad for several weeks he frequently commented how good Thomas is. And that guy knows a little more than something about babies. More on Dad later. Thomas already sleeps and eats better than Little G did by six months I would guess, so we're on the right track. That being said, it hasn't been all wine and roses (in fact very little of either, literally). The biggest obstacle has probably been the thrush/yeast issue I have had in nursing. I you are sensitive, scroll down now. I think the nipple pain I had rivaled my challenging and painful birth. And it went on and on. And I didn't know when and if it would end. After I got through it I commented to my sister that I finally thought I was going to get to keep the nipple (half kidding/half serious) and she replied, "That's good. And I never want to hear anyone say that phrase again." The midwife actually gasped when she saw was I had going on in the nippular region. She said she'd seen a few cases that bad in her time and that most people through came out okay. Yikes. That's enough about boobs for now, I think.

My Dad
So, my dad was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer within about four weeks after I had Thomas. I want to note here that Thomas is named after both grandfathers Thomas is Louis' dad and Richard is my dad. We are blessed to have two amazing men to have our son share a name with. We couldn't ask for better. My dad is a truly amazing, funny and inspiring person. It is my honor to be his daughter. He has quietly and meaningfully touched more lives that one could even begin to count. This diagnosis has been a truly devastating blow and the prognosis is not good. We hope to have him with us for a year or two. According to "the numbers" that is very optimistic. I choose to maintain hope. Anything else is too unbearable to think. I am grateful that I got to take the kids home and to be with my dad for four weeks. There is never enough time. While on the phone with him today I thought, "Please, God, do not let this be the last time I will ever with my dad a 'Happy Easter.'" I count on having Easter 2011 with him. I believe in miracles. If I keep up this blog I suspect that there will be much more on this topic. For now, I beg you to please pray for him.

Cooking
Now for something completely different. I have been baking and cooking a lot lately. Not as much as I would like, mind you, but a good bit. I made coconut macaroons yesterday with The G. They are amazing. I generally cannot eat macaroons since traditional recipes call for almond extract (I mean, I could eat them, but then I would be fiercely sick). I subbed in some vanilla extract and I have no idea why anyone would want them any other way. Recipe, you say?

Coconut Vanilla Macaroons
One 14 oz. package sweetened coconut (I used Angel Flake)
2/3 c. sugar
6 tbs. flour
1/4 tsp. salt
4 egg whites
1 tsp. vanilla

Mix sugar, flour and salt in a bowl. In a large bowl whip egg whites with an electric mixers till soft peaks form. Add vanilla and gently blend. Add coconut and sugar mixture by hand with the egg whites.

Bake at 325 degrees for 15 minutes. You may need a couple extra minutes depending on your oven. I advise using a floured parchment or a silpat on your baking sheet. Check for golden brown edges. Remove promptly to a rack to cool. Let cool completely. Enjoy. Try not to eat 20.

I've been making up recipes, trying new things and perfecting standards. I think this is a great new release for me and I look forward to lots more cooking. By the way, my Cuisinart 7-speed handmixer rocks.

So, I think that's all a fair smattering of life today. We'll see how long it takes to come back...

A Master's Touch

2009-09-06T12:12:00.000-07:00

The sermon at Mass was great today and it really got me thinking. Bear with me. I've got a lot to say...

Today's Gospel spoke about how Jesus was speaking to a crowd and saw a man he knew was in need. He took the man out of the large crowd and laid his hands on him. The man had been deaf and mute since birth. Jesus' touch healed the man, who went back into the crowd and was forever changed. The crowd was changed, too.

The priest began his homily by telling a story about an estate sale where many items were spread about a room, some more alluring than others. On one table sat a violin, out of tune and covered in dust. It had a sign pricing it at just a handful of dollars. It sat and sat and sat. It was late in the day when finally a man came by and actually noticed the violin in the crowd. He gently wiped the dust away, properly tuned the strings and began playing it. In gifted hands the true value of the instrument became evident. A bidding war erupted and the violin went for thousands of dollars. Most people passed by and saw the violin for what it was in the moment, the artist saw it for what it could be. All it took was a master's touch.

Then the priest turned the storytelling to a more personal note. He spoke about when he first entered Seminary. (Side note: I love hearing stories of priests seeking and fulfilling their vocation. It never ceases to amaze me). He spoke about how truly difficult his first year was. He'd left a loving, supportive family, tons of friends and a very active life and social scene for the unknown, reclusive, and the tremendously challenging world of the priesthood. He cried often and felt lonely. He hadn't built strong enough relationships in this new life yet to have a confidant. I think, in some ways, that is a journey many people can relate to. He struggled and persevered. Then, he got to go home for a short period. He got home and felt immediately welcomed. He sat with his mom and laid his head in her lap. And he cried. And cried. And his mom took her fingertips and began running her fingers through his hair. His soul was refreshed and he felt immediately complete. A master's touch had healed him and he was refreshed-- able to go on. He could take that touch and extend it out to others.

Aside: It's no wonder that commercials and songs use the phrase, "Reach out and touch someone," or phrases like that. Even telephone commercials talk about it. You can't literally touch someone over the phone, but we all know what they mean. When someone is really moved by something they describe it as being "touching." It's not just a physical thing.

This is what Christians are called to do. It's what people are called to do. We are refreshed by the healing touch of the Lord who sees us not for what we are, but what we have the potential to be. In His presence we can become that. And, by being the fullest, best part of ourselves, we can share that touch with others. We must extend our hands out and touch those around us-- our spouses, our kids, our friends. And, we must pull people out of the crowd (maybe even strangers) and embrace them, too. The crowd can be noisy and confusing. We can bring clarity through a little kindness and a warm touch, can't we? Haven't you had that happen before, when someone touches your life or embraces you and it just changes everything?

No one I know was better at this than my mom. So many people have said that she saw the best in them, and through her they became that better person. She was never hesitant to reach out her hand and touch you-- figuratively and quite literally. She would hold me and say, "You feel nice." It's significant to know that she didn't just mean, "You make me feel better." It was more than that. This was about you, not her. Having a daughter of my own now, I understand this particular feeling in a different way. Holding The Girl feels different. She feels like something else completely, almost otherworldly sometimes. I get how my mom meant this when she said this to her kids. But, beyond that she really reached out and wasn't afraid to grab you (in a good way) and embrace you-- whoever you are. And she invited the same from others just by being. And she made you better by seeing, and feeling, who you were at your best. And she healed your soul somehow, cleared out the crowd for a moment, and you could be that best version of you. No doubt she felt that God had called her forth from a different set of gifts than she had seen in herself. God laid His hands on her and made her the best she could be. I don't know that she would say that it was ultimately clarity, but she wasn't blind or deaf or mute in the world. She was a world class violin, only better.

There is no shortage of touching in my family. I am a hugger, a hand-holder, a grabber. I come by it honestly. It's the life I have known. I really feel for the priest who spoke today about needing that touch from his mom to be whole. It's a deep part of my homesickness. I have had my sisters say to me on the phone, when we are really missing one another, "I just want to get my arms around you." That is exactly what I need. My husband does a pretty good job of it, but it's a little more of a stretch for him. He's not always the first to hug. He loves it when I reach out and pull him out of the crowd to squeeze him, or play with his hair, rub his back, hold his hand, grab his arm, slap his leg when I think something is really funny (okay maybe not that last one quite as much).

We've certainly become a family of huggers. No icky PDA here, just people ready with a warm embrace. I don't think everyone is easily inclined to such a nature, or raised to nurture the impulse. However, I think this is something that people can learn. It's something that people yearn for, whether they know it or not. Don't you think so? Little G may not always give hugs and kisses on command, but she loves to do it when you least expect it and when you need it the most. Kids come out holding on and wanting to be held. It's hard to ever let go.

So, I hope to nurture this in myself and others. I want to be a person who pulls people from the crowd and embraces them. I like to hold hands with my family and my friends, and I want people to be unafraid to be the best version of themselves. I want everyone to see themselves as a world class violin.

And I just really want a hug most of the time.

I Hate Bugs

2009-08-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

Do I live in the woods? No. No, I don't.

Then why, oh why, do I constantly have bug bites. The poor G has three huge ones today. We tell her she can't touch them-- she can blow on them. I have one on my hand that itches so badly I think I could slather it in Benadryl all day. There was a time I literally had 20+ bites and started to put the Benadryl on, reading the package. The package says something about not using it as an all-over lotion. Well, sometimes that's what it takes...

But, for me, the bigger deal isn't the bites. It's the bugs. Growing up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest I grew accustomed to our particular brand of creepy crawlies. Spiders the size of your fist... And, can someone explain why there are GIANT mosquito catchers/hawks at home, but I have yet to see even one in Queens. And let me tell you I could use some of those bad boys. Can you ship them? The bugs here are gross and icky and they are everywhere. They are strangers to me and I hate them. Are they what are biting me? I have no idea. Do they camp in my sink and crawl out? Just because they haven't yet doesn't mean they won't. There was some weird thing in our guest bedroom while we had guests here (sorry Beth and Megan!) and I will tell you, I have never killed a bug with a greater sense of urgency. It looked like something out of a horror movie.

While we are successfully navigating our New York adventures, I can tell you 100% that I would be a lot happier without the small, creepy visitors lurking. I really, really hate them.

On a Mission

2009-07-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

So, I am taking on a new project. I am in search of the perfect chocolate cookie recipe. Not just any "perfect" cookie, but perfect according to my husband. I've been looking for a baking quest and he gave it to me on a platter-- well more on a cookie plate. He's imagining his ideal cookie and I intend to create it. After a great deal of research it doesn't look like what he's dreaming of is out there. Yet. More on his specs later, but for now I need your input on the right baking tools. I need the perfect baking sheet. I am thinking of the jelly roll pan from Costco paired with a Silpat. Am I right? I think this is what I see my Food Network pals using. Is there something out there I have never even heard of before?

Also, I need a hand mixer. I already have an amazing KitchenAid Mixer, lovingly packed away in storage. It won't be making the trip to NYC, so I need help finding a hand mixer and bowl combo that will do the trick. Thoughts?

I have been inspired to take on this challenge, looking for a new accomplishment to achieve, and have been doubly inspired by some other bloggers chat on this topic. Have you seen CakeSpy's history of the chocolate chip cookie? Hilarious and brilliant! And Bakerella's take on The Cookie reminded me of many awesome days of baking cookies with my sister Kate. Perfection. And in her most recent post Zesty Jenny hinted at a great recipe. Bring it on!

Dreaming of the Hamptons

2009-07-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

Well, Shoot! We have been planning for the last little while about our big trip to the Hamptons tomorrow. Ah, to go to the beach, see Little G play in the water, and just get away. But, it's raining. So the big cast and crew day at the producer's Hamptons house is delayed. We think we'll be on for next week. Oh, fancy day at the playground of the rich and famous, why must you still be so far away?

But, we'll make the most of it. It's been too long since The Dad Guy, The Girl (she is getting a little old to be "The Babes") and I have just hung out for the day together. I am actually really excited about it. I suspect there will be a trip to the bakery involved. Basically, I always make a trip to the bakery happen when I can. There are literally at least six ridiculously good bakeries in my neighborhood. Zagat rated, top-notch, old-school bakeries. It actually reminds me a little of being a kid when I would go to Beck's Bakery in Fircrest. Man, Adele Beck was a magician with flour, sugar and water. That place was the ultimate happy place. One bakery nearby even has a doll cake in the window-- just like my favorite birthday cake of all time. Did you ever have/see one of these? It's a Barbie wearing a dress made of cake and frosting. There is nothing dirty about it. It's so cool. Now, mine never had a Barbie in it. It was more likely a Flair Doll. I still got love for Flair. She didn't need to be Barbie. She was still an 11 1/2 inch fashion doll standing in her own right.

All that said, I do think that many of the bakeries in Astoria are like Beck's Bakery on crack. The sheer freshly-made selection is kind of crazy.

My daughter is learning the Way of the Pastry quickly. One day we were out strolling and she woke up from her stroller nap a little groggy. I looked at her and said, "How you doing Sweetie Pie?" Her eyes lit up and she looked right at me and said, "Pie!" She then insisted that we needed to go get pie. Seriously. So, off we went to Martha's Country Bakery, where I know mini pies are on the menu. I let her select. They were out of her first choice, blueberry, so we opted for apple. I thought we might split a little pie. I was wrong. That little dynamo ate the whole thing.

Early in the process:As Pie Time Progressed...
She honestly just about polished off the whole thing. I tasted a hint of almond extract in it and couldn't keep eating (little allergy issue). But she just kept going. That's my girl! One of her first phrases was, "Mama loves piiiie!"

I could go on and on about bakeries and baked goods, but it was a fun little afternoon and one of the highlights of our new digs. The Girl is in a really fun phase and I want to eek out every bit of it that I can. She's such a Daddy's girl so much of the time. He cracks her up constantly. Not surprisingly since, after all these years, he still cracks me up constantly, too. I am very blessed. Perhaps I should get a pie to celebrate.

Off to the Park

2009-06-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

Ahhh. At last we made it to the park today (Astoria Park, above. Isn't it pretty?). The weather has been so crummy that it's been hard for Little G and me to get to the playground. It's nice that I can type the word playground, by the way. I cannot say it out loud unless I want it repeated incessantly and for my girl to stand waiting by the door. Seriously. She loves it.

So, sun is shining, and we're sick of being cooped up, so off to Astoria Park we go. This park is Ahhhhmazing. It is beautiful and huge nestled right up against the (less-scary-than-you-think) East River. The park was packed. Lots of people were sporting and picnicking on the rolling lawn, the ice cream truck sat on the street to offer treats, and the playground was bustling with happy kids. Today amongst those kids was my kid, and that made me very happy.

There were lots of times I was told, "I do it by myself," which I am doing my best to get used to. And she does get around where she needs/wants to go, quite nicely. She is so her Dad's girl, independent spirit and all. But one moment she lost track of me and I could see her pause, look around and quietly begin saying, "Mommy." Then, a little louder, "Mommmmy." Then she spotted me and I got one of those big, peaceful smiles. So she does still need me. Sometimes.

Tomorrow is Dad Guy's first full day off in quite some time and I think we'll try to trek back to the park. This time I think we'll grab a picnic and lounge for a bit, but it won't be long till we hear, "Playground!"

Here she is at the new place, actually stepping back for the photo and saying, "Cheese!"

I can't decide what my favorite part of our "upscale camping" scenario I like best in this picture. Maybe it's Baby strewn about in front of the TV on the box. And, yes, Days of Our Lives is on. Days is never on, so I can't believe we captured that. After this we went into the City to meet Dad Guy.

A Quick Little Rant

2009-06-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

Jon and Kate + 8

I am from a big family. We probably wouldn't make very good reality TV. It always struck me as odd that this was such a noteworthy thing that a family had eight kids. I know lots of families that have more. But none of them have sextuplets. And none of them seem to crave the limelight.

Apparently the Gosselins are okay with the limelight. The limelight seems to have ruined them. But on they go right into the glow.

In the midst of the chaos that they have born or created comes word that they have a big announcement on Monday. Rumblings are that they are separating or divorcing. They claim to be trying to find peace for both of them.

Well, I hope that their real announcement is that they are turning off the cameras and getting family counseling. Get out of the mess created by peering eyes, tabloid stories, book signings, Today Show appearances, late night bar visits, cozy body guards, and whatever else you have made "necessary." Figure out what is really important. Find the core of who you are as a couple and as a family.

Peace for you is secondary to peace and piece of mind for your kids. Nothing that has happened over the last several months has been positive for your kids. In fact, I would go so far as to say that everything that you are doing is terribly detrimental to your kids. Turn it around and figure out how to help your family. I am guessing calling it quits without any effort to solve your problems will teach terrible, unteachable lessons to your eight kids.

That's right, you have eight kids that you went to endless efforts to have through fertility treatments and challenging pregnancies. Can you spend as much time and effort to help them as you took to create them? Can you find the love in one another that prompted you to want to share your love with all these kids?

What an awful example you are teaching married couples, families, TV audiences, and most importantly your kids if you declare divorce without exhausting all possibilities of making this work. You will prove yourselves to be shallow, selfish and stupid if that's you"Big Announcement." On the other hand, if you make the announcement you are getting out of show business and getting down to the business of being a family I will cheer you on to no end, and I assure you, so will America.

Rant over.

Hooray!

2009-06-14T10:35:00.000-07:00

I write to you now as a person who has attended the Tony Awards.

It was so fun!

It turns out that we weren't in nosebleed seats AT ALL. In fact our seats were amazing. We weren't down in the mix with all the "famous" folks, but I will say that Steven Weber was just down ahead of us and I was sitting next to the daughter of one of the producers of "Hair." That should tell you a) we weren't far from B-listers; b) "important" people still put their kids with people like me, so it can't be so bad. We were in row N, just under the mezzanine. Wonder what that looks like? Wonder no more:

This is just before all the ceremony started. I didn't want to get busted for taking photos during the show, but I am glad I caught this. I was close enough that I actually didn't even need to really watch the big screens! They were handy, especially to see the odd facial expressions of one of the "Hair" tribe members during their acceptance. I suspect the party started early for that guy. Whoa! And you know who is even more hilarious than that whacked out dude? Neil Patrick Harris! He was an amazing host. He was funny during the show and during the commercials. Love him. My hubby shook his hand during the show. So cool.

And, yes, I saw Brett Michaels biff his face on the set. Whoops. I know they should have stopped the drop from coming in, but for Pete's sake, dude... Follow your blocking and look out for the set. My sister and I clutched one eachother's hands and gasped when it happened. Glad he walked away with minor contusions so I can laugh about it now. That's what you get for "Rock of Love Bus."

It was so cool to get to sit with my dad and sister during the awards, I must say. They had just seen "The Show" the day before so they were some of the biggest cheerleaders. When I talk to people who watched the awards they always say that our little show got huge cheers whenever it was announced. We were those people! That was one of the coolest things about being there, the ability to be in the room when nominees (and winners!) were announced. It reminded me how a part of this Broadway family I am blessed to be. Am I actually living this dream?! Pinch me. I laughed. I cried. A lot.

During the ceremony, The Hubby and I texted back and forth from our seats. We could see one another when we stood up to cheer, but not so much while we were seated. But texting turned out to be a way we could wink and nudge. If you are a voyeur like me perhaps you would like to know what we said. If you are not, you can skip this part. Following along you may recognize what parts of the show we are talking about. Here are some highlights:

Him: This is Redonk.

Me: Right? Holy Cow! I cannot believe this is real.

Him: That's one.

Me: Maybe Billy isn't running away with this thing...

Him: Grrrr!

Me: Double grrrrr.

Later

Him: Shut up!

Me: Shut it all up!!!

Even Later

Him: That was confusing. Not sure why they chose that.

Me: Cool dancing but... huh? Doesn't make me want to see Billy.

At the After Party

Me: Looouis... Where are you?

Speaking of which, the after party was awesome. As was the pre-show. So much delicious food. I don't even know where to start. At the pre-show, I think the mini tacos were the winners. Oh, good golly, those were yummy. The post-show party highlight was probably the empanadas. Or the crab cakes. Or the mini grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. Or maybe the gelato. I could have kept eating but you eventually just have to stop. But better than the spectacular food was a chance to be at a party where people show up with their Tony Awards. I got to see a brand spankin' new, shiny, fresh Tony! So cool. And those were some happy winners. Big congrats to Tom, Brian, Alice and Michael. They were all so gracious and pleased to share their honors with everyone there. Nothing like it.

In classic fashion, we didn't take nearly enough photos. Shocking, I know. I do have one shot of us for now. It's at the pre-show party. My dad and sister are just to my left. We were just toasting our good fortune right before we took this, so it seems like the perfect shot.

It's not the most flattering photo of me, but I love the moment (but seriously, what's up fat arms?! My arms do not look like that.). And I love the prominent role my mom's pearls play in the picture. The beautiful clasp my dad designed for her is front and center. She would love that. And The Dad Guy is sooooo handsome. He's wearing a fancy schmancy tux that he was wardrobed in for the night. Big props to Sisley menswear. This fit amazingly, was fabulously fashionable and he's wearing blue suede shoes. Hot stuff.

I proudly tell you that I did my own hair and it wins. I got so many compliments. And my favorite comment, "Who did your hair? It looks great!" Many bobby pins and a little husbandly assistance was required, but I pulled it off. Tee hee hee. Of course, I don't really have any good photos of it. Boo.

So, enough rambling. That's the recap. I didn't even get to the knee wound I managed to collect, the crazy as heck cab rides, Little G's big night out, insane foot pain, or any number of other stories. This is just a basic document. If there is something else you are dying to know, say the word. Man, I am long-winded.

Cheers!

We now take a break from our regularly scheduled programming...

2009-06-12T06:36:00.000-07:00

To bring you this important announcement.

My friend Shelley is missing her dog. If you live in the Rainier, WA area or know anyone who does, please keep an eye out for Viper.

Please go to Shelley's blog for more information.

I have a deep appreciation for the love of a little dog. I am confident Viper and Mojito are kindred spirits. I really, really hope that Viper comes home safe and sound.

Of course a Tony Awards post is in the pipeline. For now thoughts and prayers for Shelley.

Have you seen these?

2009-05-30T05:27:00.001-07:00

All this talk about my fabulous shoes and nothing to show for it. Until now...

They are even sexier when they are on a foot.* The Husband loves them a lot.

You can consider this a Tony fashion preview. More details to come.

*This will likely be the first and only time that you will see me put versions of the words "foot" and "sexy" in the same sentence.

Tony, Toni, Tone

2009-05-23T14:37:00.000-07:00

So, the Tony Awards are two weeks from tomorrow and I cannot believe I am going! It's kind of insane, actually. Full disclosure: I had to buy my tickets with all the plebes. And I will be sitting far away from the awesomeness, but I GET TO GO! On the other hand, The Husband's producers were generous enough to buy him what should be a lovely seat down much closer to the action. We could not afford the $700-a-pop for me to sit with him. But we will be together, sort of. I believe that Radio City Music Hall seats about 5,000 people, so there will likely be about 3,500+ people between us. But there is a pre-party and a post-party so we will certainly be together for those. Oh, and I AM GOING TO THE TONY AWARDS!

Had we not had to shell out some legitimate cash for my seat (significantly less than Louis' locale), perhaps there would be a new dress on the horizon. But I am very blessed to have a ridiculously fabulous collection of cool dresses to choose from in my own collection, and none of them have really been viewed by NYC eyes, so I think I will be okay. I plan to throw on my Vera Wang black dress, so that ain't too shabby. It may be old enough that if anyone asks who I am wearing I can say, "Vintage Vera Wang." The shoes will be the new ones I got for opening night (more on that later). They are amazing, crazy sexy shoes by the company,"Oh, Deer." Love that name. Love the shoes even more. My darling spouse actually bought them for me for opening night. They were a good luck charm then and I hope they do the same on June 7. My other good luck charm from opening (and yet another gift from the hubby) are my new Swarovski crystal earrings. Fancy Shmancy. I don't have a ton of stuff on the East Coast at the moment, but I am lucky to have the amazing things I do.

What's better is the other accompaniments I have for the night are the beyond compare. My sister and my dad will be joining me in the cheap seats! It seems almost too good to be true. My family means everything to me and to get to share this with them is a little bit of a miracle. They will also be seeing The Show that weekend, making them the first of my immediate family to do so. I cannot wait to hear what I think.

So, the awards show is being hosted by Neil Patrick Harris. You may know him as Doogie Howser, M.D., but to me he's Barney Stinson. And he sleighs me. I cannot wait to see him in action. Also in action will be my "extended family," some of the cast of "The Show." The Dad Guy isn't performing, which may be all for the best as we'll actually get to enjoy the festivities together. But Alice, Bobby and Aaron are going to kill it. It's going to blow your mind. Whoever you are reading this right now, be prepared to have your mind blown. It'll be fun to watch the an amazing show get recognized and take home some awards. At the end of the night everyone will be saying, "Billy Who?"

So, off to figure out what jewelery to wear. And to jump up and down a little bit.

Is anyone still reading this?!

2009-05-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

Apparently I was discouraged by the total lack of interest in my recent posts that I went on hiatus. I use the term "recent" loosely. It's been ages, but I am not sure anyone cares...

So, in an effort to bring my own caring to the table I shall make a go of this again and see what happens. Too many exciting things going on to keep quiet I guess. So, I am putting a suggestions list below. And suggesting to moi that I get off my lazy a$$ and write something, anything, about any one of these topics. If you would like to chime in on what you'd like to hear most, even perhaps items left off this list, please do so.

And now, the list...

1. The opening of The Dad Guy's Broadway Show and the faboo party that followed.
2. The Tony nomination excitement about said Broadway show.
3. Celebrity sightings by the husband and myself (both together and seperately).
4. News of our apartment hunt, apartment selection and adventures in furnishing.
5. Travels to and from home with a two-year-old.
6. Little G's second birthday party.
7. Highlights from my favorite TV shows. Lost finale, for instance.

Seven is a lucky number so I will stop there.

I will get back to this list, but for now, if you stumble upon this place, do me a favor and make a comment.

Hiatus over.

On the road

2009-03-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

The Dad Guy, The Girl, and I have been taking a long walk everyday this week and I am loving it. We probably walk about three miles total, up and down some serious hills and stairs. I feel great about this and love the idea of getting a little more fit. I'd feel better about my own achievements if my husband didn't do this leisurely walk with us then run the same distance or longer in the same day. Overachiever.

So, it's been great to get up and have a destination. My life here is so odd because I don't really have appointments or projects outside our little sublet, so I have to make reasons to get out. So, our daily destination is the delightful waterfront Starbucks on the Hudson River. We seriously walk the boardwalk on the Hudson each day. That's kind of crazy, I must admit. And, man, that view is something else. There is also a great grocery store, the AP Fresh that I am in love with right now. So, we make that our destination and blast our glutes regularly. What's good for the glutes is good for the gander, right.

I am pretty sure Little G's stroller might explode one day, though. It's a pretty cheap stroller we got after transitioning out of the Snug Glider Frame (the only way to go with a little baby. Best. Stroller. Ever.). Not being sure what kind of stroller we'd need for the next stages of our adventures we got something that would get us by, and it's been great, especially for the $35 I spent on it. But it's gone way past its mileage. You wouldn't expect to see an '85 Ford Escort with 400,000 miles still out and about would you? We've literally probably logged hundreds of miles on the stroller and she's probably ready to retire. So, now the hunt is on for a new stroller. I'd love for it to be super lightweight, collapse easily, have a strap, be comfortable enough to fall asleep in, take bumps well, clean-up nicely, have a cup holder and storage, have a canopy, or at least be a moderately good combination of some or all of the above. Any suggestions would be delightful!

After the images you'll be rewarded with the funniest thing she's ever said...

But here are some images from our Big City adventures: Who's that in the white doctor's coat in that Broadway theatre poster behind us? Tee hee hee.

Waiting for the ferry to take us across the Hudson. Not too shabby.

On the ferry. A little windblown.

Warming up at Starbucks!

Early morning on the Hudson.

You've earned it. Funny story. We've been working on the Little G telling us when she's pooped as a beginning of potty training. She's still really hit and miss, but she's getting the idea. When she gets it right it's usually a loud and very official announcement, "I POOOPED." She woke up really early this morning so we pulled her into bed with us, which, as it turns out, means that no one gets more sleep. So, in his waking Dad Guy farts. It's loud. In her awesome little voice, The Girl says, "Dada pooped."

I hope not, but I understand her confusion.

Good, Better, Best (volume 3)

2009-02-27T06:20:00.000-08:00

Good: It's Lent! While I am a Christmas fanatic (just a little too crazy about that holiday,actually), Lent is so important to me because it's the reason that it means something to be a Christian. Christmas is beautiful and magical but it is the "easy" holiday, in that everyone loves the joyous birth of a baby. Nothing has made me happier recently than the birth of my nephew Daniel, for instance. What a joy to see my sister become a mom and to know that this new little person is all hope. Easter, on the other hand, centers on the fact that Jesus Christ died. Without the death, and the resurrection, the birth of Christ would be historically and spiritually less significant. Easter reminds us that in all the ways we "die" a little, there is always the hope of resurrection and transformation.

This Lenten season I am giving up my whining. No more hanging up the phone frustrated with a client and kvetching about how hard they make my job. Just happy to have the work. No more complaints about dogs who take tissues out of the garbage. She's a great dog, really. Enough with the blah, blah, blah about the loud neighbors upstairs. I am sure we make more than our share of noise. I want to be more positive and more peaceful. Oh, and no more swearing. I don't do that very much, but it's got to stop.

Better: Living in New Jersey. Now, I get to be a Jersey Girl for a little bit. I know it makes my Jersey Girl Mom very happy. I think I will officially reside in NYC soon enough. For now, I get to see the most spectacular view of the Manhattan skyline rising over the Hudson right on my front porch every day. Even mundane tasks like walking the dog are more inspired because of the scenery. And my little family gets to spend a lot of time together. Hooray!

Best: Well, here it is. Prayers are answered. The Dad Guy booked a BROADWAY SHOW! I can hardly believe it, but I know it's real because I read it on the internets! Obviously I knew it wasn't a matter of "if" but "when." But the speediness of the "when" and the coolness of originating a role in a brand new show leaves me in awe. Thanks for all the prayers, and thanks especially to the aforementioned Jersey Girl who must have made this a special intercession in heaven. So, hopefully lots of people will have good reason to come see us here. We miss our friends and family like crazy. I am so unbelievably proud of my hubby and so grateful for the embarrassment of blessing bestowed upon us. Here's to a long and successful run!

Good, Better, Best (volume 2)

2009-02-02T10:42:00.000-08:00

Good: My hair is getting redder again. All by itself. It's been fun to watch the hints of copper and auburn reemerge. This is how my hair is supposed to be. I wish I could take a photo to show you, but I am awful at self portraits, unlike Jenny and Shelley, masters of the art. I don't know how a person can look super pointy while having a double chin and looking fat, but I can do it when I am taking my own photos. So, you'll just have to take my word on the hot red hair I am rocking. There are also these hairs of a different color appearing. They are white. We shall not speak of them in GBB.

Better: I intend to do some sort of fashion round-up as it's now awards season, but I haven't gotten to it yet. However, I saw a photo that made me laugh so hard that it had to rate a comment here. I have no idea what Lisa Rinna is doing at the SAG awards. I thought invited to those were reserved for actual "Actors," but somehow she is there. And in a bid to be totally ironic or oxymoron-ish she managed to demonstrate that with medical intervention, you can defy the word SAG in your everyday life. But that is not the funniest part. What in the world is happening here!? She must have said a prayer to "Santa Ana" the patron saint of wind and grace to keep her from showing us more Lisa Rinna than I care to see. Click on the image to read the hilarious commentary and to get a better look at the impeccable waxing job.

Those girls at Go Fug Yourself crack me up!

Best: I have been able to see my husband for the first time in three weeks! In the last couple days we have spent quality time with family, celebrated our nephew's 10th birthday (wow!), and hung out with some of our most favorite friends. To cap it off, we are eagerly awaiting the birth of my sister's baby boy. She is going to be an unbelievably good mom, and I cannot wait to meet the little guy! I suspect we are less than 36 hours from delivery now. Hooray! Now, that is the best.

A Peek Into My Life

2009-01-26T22:04:00.000-08:00

This is a glimpse into my day to day...

Yes, it repeats over and over. Just like my life.

I suppose there are worse things. I watch a lot less Days of Our Lives now, and a lot more "Eins."

For those of you better parents than I am, this is what you are missing out on. Just so you know.

Blast Off!

P.S. I kind of love my Little Einsteins. And I really love my musical girl.

Son-by-Law

2009-01-07T11:50:00.000-08:00

My mom always referred to her daughter's husbands as "Son-by-Law," as in "How's my Son-by-Law doing today?" This was a question she usually asked before she even asked about my well being. She never used the term "In-Law." I never really thought about why she said it that way, but it was one of her regular Momisms I loved. I could go on and on about those...

In any case, maybe my mom used the term "by" because she didn't think of these kids through marriage were hers "In-Law" only. They were absolutely hers, not just in name alone or on paper. I think that all my siblings and I have wondered, at least once, if Mom didn't like our spouse better than us. Now, don't get me wrong, I never doubt for a moment how much my mom completely and thoroughly loved me and liked me, to boot. But she loves her kids-by-law, too, and would move mountains for them, like any Mama would. Asked to jump, she would surely say, "How high?" I've been thinking about this recently.

In fact, I have been thinking about my Mom a lot lately. Through the holidays, and approaching the anniversary of the day we began the journey of this loss, it's hard to not think about her. It's nice to hear from other who have been through this kind of loss. They let me know how normal my sadness, grief, flood of memories, and other feelings are. But this time has also opened a window for me to imagine talking to my mom. It's really what I miss the most. I logged so many hours of conversations with her that I can put myself so easily into the mindset of what those talks would be like now. It's not the same, but I feel closer remembering what I love. And I thought about how often my mom would say, "What do you need?" She always asked that. A classic Momism. It's a magical gift how she could tap into that with people. And she meant it. She really wanted to know what you needed and would do anything she could to get you what you needed. Rare and wonderful.

So, walking down the street in Washington, DC, in a little drizzle, I imagined her talking to me. This wasn't in a crazy, "Are those Care Bears over there?" kind of way. I just put myself in that place where I could just talk to my mom. It's a very familiar place. And I am a person who believes that the separation between this world and the next isn't as impenetrable as some might think. So, I know she could hear me. And I could almost hear her say, in her beautiful 30-years-removed, but not a day compromised, New Jersey accent, "What do you need?" and I imagined my reply...

I need your "Son-by-Law's" show to go to Broadway. It's so close we can almost taste it. It's time and the whole cast has earned it. He has earned this. We know it's in discussions, we just someone to step in and get it done. It would be amazing to have our little family all in one place for a long period without living in limbo.

And, I know my mom. The wheels started to churn and she was thinking about who she knew that might be of help. She thought about all the people she could talk to. All her knowledge was poured into it. And, she also wanted me to know that I should "Pray for what's right." God has a plan and He knows best. We always need to seek the best outcome, even if it's not clear why we don't get what we say we want. It's surprisingly true how God has a way of making things work out for the best, even in tragedy. Knowing that I was asking for something for her "Son-by-Law," separated from him by nothing, I'm positive she will do what she can to take care of what we need. No one will be happier to see him on Broadway than my Mom.

As I got on the elevator with Little G she saw some food that had been dropped on the floor and said, "Chi Chi," another classic Momism to describe something dirty. Then and there I knew, my mom is very much alive in little ways, but we have to look beyond our own wants to see it. She's there. She's in me and my prayers, my family and their dreams, and in my daughter in all her little ways.

2008-12-16T05:44:00.000-08:00

So many other things to talk about, but I wanted to let you know that I baked something recently and it was amazing.

I made Orange Lime Pie with Meringue Topping. Seriously, it might be my best baking effort in ages. In fact, my husband asked me yesterday what hobby I might like to take up (something I have been saying I need as of late) and I said, "Baking." I think I really enjoy cooking, and especially baking. This pie was so great, and it looked exactly like the picture. Which reminds me that I should have taken a picture. Maybe pies are my specialty. When you ask Little G what Mama loves, she knows the answer, "Piiiie."

Interestingly enough, my husband thought I might like to take an acting class or a solo act preparation class. He thought I would enjoy it and would probably do pretty well. So, it's something to ponder.

For now, I shall enjoy pie.

*Here is the Food Porn site's photo, but I swear this is EXACTLY what mine looked like.

Good, Better, Best (volume 1)

2008-11-14T08:42:00.000-08:00

This is my new way of finding things to be excited about (for me) and sharing quick updates (for you). It's a stab at a sort of "Grateful Journal" and I'd like to hope it's entertaining. Let's see how we do!

Good: My 'first born' (my mom hates when I say that), our precious puppy, is doing well in her temporary set-up. Of all the joys that have come with my hubby booking this awesome gig, one big drawback is that our dog (known to Little G as "doggy," "Mo" or "Good Girl," cannot be with us on this leg of the journey. G asks for her every day and it breaks my heart. I tell her, "We're on one adventure, and Mo's on her own adventure and we'll see her soon." Well, today we got to fulfill that wish, sort of. We got to see her today! Here she is! It sounds like she is doing well. We miss her so much, but know she's in the very best hands. She may not want us back after staying with Tom and Patti!

Better: Washington, DC, is an awesome place. We have a decent little apartment set-up here and we are close to all sorts of amazing, ridiculously cool, historically important landmarks. It is the cradle of American history and I will have the time to see so much of it. I have made lots of trips here in my life, times that I treasure. It's nice to reminisce and to make new memories. I can't wait to take the Dad Guy and the Babes to see the Constitution. I am less than a mile from it! The delicious icing on the cake is how close we are to some of our best friends and wonderful family members. I have already started to connect with one of my favorite girlfriends, Kathryn, and had a play date with her son, Oliver. He is crazy cute!

Best: It looks like my amazing husband has successfully booked his next job! It's a big one. It's the workshop for a Broadway-aimed show, The Addams Family. It's based on the original cartoons and so far the people attached to the project are, well, the best people going in musical theatre. We still have to wait and see if his employer and potential employer can work out the kinks of his conflicts. I am confident it will happen. Hope does not disappoint. Read more about this crazy cool project here and here.

More good, better and best news to come!

For What it's Worth

2008-10-21T22:36:00.000-07:00

I was at a party this weekend celebrating the fabulous Lindsey and her big day, coming soon, marrying the also fabulous Jake. They are testament to the power of happy endings. Hooray!

At the party I overheard a conversation between the mother-of-the-bride and the mother-of-the-groom. I wasn't eavesdropping. Honestly. They were saying how amazing all the presents were that had been opened. And one said to the other, "You gotta remember, these girls have more time than money. That's different than the way it was back in our day." And, I thought about it. Wouldn't I trade any money, and the stuff that comes along with it, for more time? Is this why we are a stressed-out, anxious, go-go-go society? We gave up trying to share experiences and now we just crave more stuff?

It reminded me that I recently began my "official" career as a personal shopper/fashion consultant. I know I have been doing this for years, but this was actually a job I am talking about (and, yes, I am available for hire--tell your friends!). My first legit client is a family friend and she bought me an amazing and totally hip jacket that I would have never bought myself as my payment. I had been expecting cold, hard cash, and was surprised by the "gift." She said, "You can always make more money, and I know you would never have gotten this for yourself." And she was absolutely right. At first I thought, this is how I was planning on making that money. But then I realized, she was right. You can always make more money. You can't make more time. Once it's spent, it's gone forever. And, the experience I had shopping, growing my new business and finding tremendous success will always be marked by my special coat. I love the coat as much for it's awesomeness as I do for what it means to me.

Honestly, right now I don't have much time OR money, but if I had to pick, I definitely would choose more time.

My Daughter is Hilarious

2008-10-14T12:10:00.000-07:00

So Little G has a lot of new words. Well she has a lot of words, generally. Here are some of my favorites, new and old. And let's see if I can capture translations...

Cupcake= No translation, clear as a bell
Necknace= Necklace
Paaan= Pants
Cooold= Cold
Cheesse= Cheese
Sprow= Sprout (as in the Jolly Green Giant and...)
Baybeee= Baby
Goo Girl= Good Girl (Better known as Mo)
What's at?= What's that?
Ouside= Outside
Iyside= Inside
Cup= Cup
Cofee=Coffee (that's my girl!)
Biingy= Binky
Yalyee= Lolly (Lollipop the Bunny)
Kaack= What a duck says (must be said many, many times)
Duck= Duck
Cowww= Cow
Mooooo= Moo
Cacker= Cracker
Coo-kie= Cookie
Treat= Treat (for aforementioned Good Girl)
TeeeVee= TV (I know, that's sad)
Show= Show (still sad)
Baa Baa= Blah Blah Pig
Teef= Teeth
Uh-Ooh= Uh Oh
Peeze= Please
Peas= Peas (subtle difference)
Yaah= Yeah
No= No (something we hear a little more than we like)
Buhyee= Bye
Hiiiiii= Hi
Nigh-Nigh= Night
Mow= More= Usually said in reference to:
Nana= Banana, apparently the world's greatest food
Wawah= Water
Waffe= Waffle
Chae= Chair
Up= Up
Dow= Down, but sometimes actually means Up
Buh-buh bay= Bye, Bye Bear (an odd puppet/book)
Ma-net= Magnet (she doesn't have any cute/kid fancy magnets, just the regular old ones, which she loves)
Boo= Book, although I may try and use this to my advantage as a "boo" later this month
Ball= Ball-- be it golf, or football or baseball, she knows
Pay Ball= What I am trying to train her to say because it's Hi-Larious (Play Ball)
Wheee= Wheee, said at perfectly appropriate times
Whoa= Whoa, also said at perfectly appropriate times
Piiie= Pie, also the answer to "What does Mama love?" And, yes I do

I know I am forgetting so many, and I am choosing to not include all the names she says for people, but I think I should record these as much for myself as it is fun to share with others. Like I said in another post, she does have the cutest voice in the world. It's crazy adorable. And she's a stellar dancer. She's got all the moves. It's worth mentioning, too, that it's good she has all these words, because she takes my phone away and talks on it unceasingly for extended periods of time. For real.

Thanks for reading!

*Addendum:

Shooo= Shoe
Saw= Sock
Boo t= Boot
Tank-yooo= Thank you
Bat= Bath
Doggie=Doggie
Aww Dun= All Done
I ge it= I'll Get It (said as she walks to the phone when it rings)
Soup= Soup
Hep= Help
Keys= Keys
Caar=Carr
Kyap= Clap
Me-ow Me-ow Me-ow= What cats say
Cat= Cat
Nummy= Mmm, that's delicious
Aga= Again

On a Soap Box

2008-10-08T09:54:00.000-07:00

This is an issue really near and dear to me and I want to make a plea that people vote properly on this initiative in Washington State.

http://noassistedsuicide.com/

Vote NO on I-1000

I know a lot of my friends who read this blog have differing political opinions than some of mine. I dare to guess we agree more than we disagree, but this is a crucial issue and it's important that we get people talking.

We cannot have Assisted Suicide in Washington State, and especially not the way this initiative is written. It has so many loopholes and is so messy that it creates a culture of death where people, concerned about being a "burden," will begin to feel obligated to relieve their loved ones of "suffering." This is about compassion. Let me say that again, this is about COMPASSION. And compassion literally means, "To suffer with." We are called to share in our lives, be it the best or worst of our lives. We are blessed to share in our joys of humanity and blessed to share in our sorrows. This is true compassion.

No one should make a solitary choice in their lowest moments. You do not need to do this alone. Let someone in who is willing to suffer with you. I promise no one is ever truly alone. I vow to sit with anyone in their sunset if that's what it takes.

While people may speak to dignity (or the lack of it) at the end of life, I say life has inherent dignity. We cannot be afraid of our truest humanity. Who are we to decide who has dignity and who does not? Earlier this year I had the experience of being with someone I love very much in their last moments. My mom embodied the greatest example of humanity. That last day I could not talk to her and she could not squeeze my hand three times to say, "I-Love-You," but she was no less human and no less filled with dignity than any other day of her life.

From the website...
What's wrong with I-1000?
I-1000 lacks real protection for people suffering from depression and mental illness.
I-1000 harms spouses and families.Under I-1000, a spouse or family member need not be told about the lethal overdose. [I-1000, Section 8]. Families might never know the truth of how their loved one died.
I-1000 endangers vulnerable people.I-1000's backers promote it as being about choice and individualized decision making. But as written, I-1000 does not empower patients. It provides an incentive for health plans to cut costs by steering people toward assisted suicide. I-1000 does not provide adequate safeguards to protect women, minorities, seniors and people with low incomes.

In Oregon, under a similar law, some patients are refused treatment by their insurance companies since they can save money by just providing the pills. Here is a story about a woman in Oregon battling lung cancer who was given death as her only option.

Doctors broadly disagree with this initiative because it is their sacred oath to care for people. "We believe physician-assisted suicide is fundamentally incompatible with the role of physicians as healers," said WSMA President Brian P. Wicks, MD. "Patients put their trust in physicians and that bond of trust would be irrevocably harmed by the provisions of this dangerous initiative." Read more here.

Beyond all these facts and loopholes and issues, it is wrong, in any circumstance to take another person's life. Even though people may talk about the term, "justifiable," it doesn't make the action right. If you have to rationalize or justify an action it is inherently wrong. You don't need to justify good behavior. We should at all times honor human life and do everything we can to protect it. True dignity is honoring people in whatever condition they are in. Dignity is unconditional. We need to show love at all times.

No person is exempt from suffering. It is part of life, inescapable. It's sad and it can break your heart. And grief is, in and of itself, lonely. But through compassion we can share the burden. Through compassion we can ease the loneliness and bring joy out of sorrow. Compassion allows us to ease pain and suffering. Compassion means you do not have to do this alone. It is a great gift to give and to receive. And this is about compassion.

When It's Time to Change...

2008-10-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

So, more exciting changes ahead. The Dad Guy booked a BIG SHOW this winter! Not too shabby. He basically booked his first agent call audition in New York this trip, and he'll be working with a major Broadway director and cast. He's one of the principles! It's so amazing and awesome and impressive. I know he's this darned talented, but as I have said before, I always love when other people recognize his gifts, too.*

The show is going to be in D.C. after rehearsing in NYC. We're still figuring out where we will be and when, so it looks like I'll be in New York for a little bit and in D.C. for quite some time (through January). And, he found a great place to stay in New Jersey for a little bit before the show moves south.

Here on the home front, I did actually get to see my husband/father of my child for a few days. I think the math is that in a six-week period, I will have seen him for six days. This, to be clear, I do not enjoy. YUCK! If you are wondering why I haven't blogged (and I am sure you are not), it's because I have not had enough time on my hands while tending to the house, the business, the baby, and all, while being on my own.

We are in a little less limbo than we have been before, so we'll see how this stage goes. It's been fun working on my Dad's campaign a bit and Little G is a constant change fest in my house.

About my girl for a minute. She's getting so big, so fast. While she's still in the petite category, she's suddenly my little toddler. She talks all the time (no idea where she gets that from) and is so busy. She has the absolute cutest voice you have ever heard. Seriously. It's so cute. There is no way to translate it in print, but trust me. And let me know if you need references. Oh, and in addition to being smart, funny, creative, musical, darling, etc., she is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. It just doesn't get any better than her.

This hasn't been the easiest time, but I am grateful for the struggles and changes, and know that I am blessed day after day.

*He actually received the call with the booking on a Tuesday after I said my Nine Hail Marys Before Nine. Go prayer!

I love you, Brandon Morrow!!!

2008-09-05T22:43:00.000-07:00

OK, so onto something new, yet again. Maybe you don't know this about me, but I love baseball. Mariners' baseball. And when I seen the hope for the Mariners' future flashing at 24 frames per second* in front of me, I can't help but get really, really excited! And tonight, Brandon Morrow blew the sliding roof off the place. I remember watching his first game as a Mariner's reliever and thinking, "They should really let this guy start. He's kind of amazing." And, he got his big league chance tonight and he surpassed all expectations. He pitched more than eight (8!) hit less innings. Someone finally stole one off him, but you just couldn't ask for better. I will remember watching this game tonight when he's pitching in the Mariner's first appearance in the World Series. I can't wait.

With all the teen exuberance I can muster I want to shout, "I love you, Brandon Morrow!"

*Is cable broadcast baseball shot on film?

The Others "Pale In" Comparison

2008-09-03T21:57:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to say that I am loving Sarah Palin right now. She's got a huge heart and is actually, truly genuine. Beyond that she's a real deal candidate who left it all on the convention floor. That's the way I like to see it played. She's not mean spirited, but feisty.

She knows how to get things done and won't be bought and sold like most politicians.

Go get 'em, "Sarah Barracuda."

The Power of Prayer

2008-08-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

So, things are coming along. I am having a few more good days, and I thank you all so much for your kind words and, especially your prayers, while I have been struggling a bit. And about that prayer, I am working on being more faithful in it, and am working on really giving myself over to it. I know it is powerful. I know it nurtures miracles. And, I know it works. And, it was proven to me more, yet again this week.

While the Dad Guy and I have been plotting all our next moves, I have just decided that God will let us know what to do next. And, He's been doing it. The Guy was going to start driving to New York on Friday (yes, this Friday) and send for me and The Babes when he had a place squared away. This didn't feel quite right in terms of timing, but alas this was our way to keep moving forward.

So, Tuesday morning I prayed my Nine Hail Marys Before Nine. I don't know if this is a broad Catholic tradition, but it certainly is at my house. My mom inquired if you had said yours or not every Tuesday. She was diligent in it, and I am sure she still is +. It is meant to bring good things. In any case, I said them (as I double-dipped for my three Hail Marys for safe travel), and knew God would show me what was next. In a strange turnaround of timing and blessings, we found out at 5 p.m. last night (mere hours later) that my sweet husband booked a national TV commercial (!) that we had essentially written off earlier in the day. This means that he will shoot the commercial NEXT week, and will head to NYC by plane after that. So, we get more money (HOORAY!) for the move and a little more time, which makes the timing feel so right now.

Then, my husband started talking about how blessed he's been in his career, particularly in the last year since we've had Little G. In fact, it's been especially fruitful during this calendar year. Then, I thought of my sweet, wonderful mom, working her magic and hearing my prayers since January. She always asked, "What do you need?" and now she's hearing and helping answer. Prayer is a truly powerful thing and God puts no distance between the spiritual and the earthly. We just have to ask. Thank you, God-- and thank you, Mom. I need you and there you are.

So, for my Mom, here is the Hail Mary, in case you are curious. Maybe you already know it. If you say Nine Hail Marys Before Nine on Tuesdays you will receive a special gift or blessing in the coming days. I assure you it works. Jesus' mom and mine have a lot in common and they are both truly faithful. So, in honor of them both:

Hail Mary, Full of Grace
The Lord is With Thee
Blessed Art Thou Among Women
And Blessed is the Fruit of Thy Womb

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for Us Sinners Now
And at the Hour of Death

And, we always say three before we go on any trip. You can follow the three with this...

Our Lady Queen of the Highways and Skyways, Please See All of My Family and Loved Ones Safely to Their Destinations and Home Again This Day.

I don't know how many of you find prayer a big thing, but thanks to all of you for taking a ride on my theological journey.

Whoops

2008-08-08T11:46:00.001-07:00

So, everybody, I am down in the dumps.

No one wants to hear somebody whining on a blog: blah, blah, blah. But that's where I am. Feel free to go read elsewhere, if you'd like. I keep thinking of really funny things to write, I promise, but I just can't seem to make any ideas manifest on the 'net. Some day soon. I finally got it together to write today and I just thought I would let you know that I am just a bit sad.

I think people who haven't experience this kind of loss, like I am going through with my mom, have a hard time understanding. I know I wouldn't have really gotten it before. I wish I could rewind and be better to people around me who suffered this way. But, I just have to vow to be better going forward. There is no such thing as a rewind button.

But, I feel like I have to stop myself from saying my undesirable mantra ever day-- many, many times a day: "I miss my Mom." I limit the amount of times I say it out loud. I am especially conscious of saying it to my husband who must tire of my ongoing sadness. It's just there in my head so often.

It's not that I am sad all the time. I am really not. I have some very happy moments. But it's there, so frequently, gnawing at me, "I miss my Mom." Being surrounded by her family last week while we were at my cousin's wedding was both comforting and heartbreaking. It was nice to be reminded of my mom in so many lovely ways. It was also so hard to be reminded of this gaping hole.

One thing I really noticed is how differently we are all dealing with this same loss. For my dad, my siblings and me, we grieve and celebrate my mom every day. We're always talking about her and we are finding her missing in all the little things in our every day lives. We spoke about her constantly around her siblings, nephews and nieces, and realized quickly that this hasn't been a part of their grieving. It's no better or worse, to be sure. It's just different. They lived 3,000 miles away for decades and miss the regular, but not daily, phone calls. They didn't see her all the time. This wedding was the event they anticipated seeing her at next. And she was gone. And we're all so sad. But it was evident that they were so stricken by our talking about her. They don't live in this sphere of grieving, I guess. It's therapeutic and natural for me. But I think it may have been really difficult, almost unbearable.

I was so honored to say the Prayers of the Faithful at my beautiful cousin's gorgeous wedding (more details to come in a future post!). And I got to say that the Mass was dedicated to my wonderful mom. I looked up to see crying faces. I reminded myself to keep it together. But, I can't always make that reminder, and I feel like, more often, that I am the face in the crowd crying.

Ick... Spiders

2008-06-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

I saw a spider in the downstairs bathroom yesterday. It was smoking a cigar and called me names. It was angry that I dared to enter the bathroom.

It was huge. It was the Shaquille O'Neal, nay, the Andre the Giant, of spiders. I half expected it to say, "Anybody want a peanut?"

Pictures speak a thousand words, and blog readers like them, but I was afraid that if I went to get a camera that I might come back and it would be gone. And, if it were gone I would know it was on the move. Then I would be stuck picturing it wearing my PJ's and getting into my bed for the night. I think it would try to read my Stephen Colbert book but might think again as it's hardcover and heavy. Everyone has fears.

Big Time

2008-06-19T09:39:00.000-07:00

I've been watching a lot of CNBC and 24-hour news cycle-ish channels lately. It's not my choice, it's just what's on. In any case, they are constantly talking about "Big Oil," along with the other "Biggies" on the horizon that are changing the landscape of energy (Big Soy, Big Corn). I was thinking what 'Bigs' I am supporting toward world domination. And I think I may have stumbled on one.

Have you ever been to a Catholic church? As a dedicated Catholic (Jim Gaffigan might even say Shiite Catholic), I know that no matter what church you attend anywhere in the USA you can count on a few things. One of those things: coffee and donuts after Mass. Always. Now I don't drink the coffee (it's swill), but I love to partake in the donuts. I support Big Donut. I am beholden to Big Donut. East Coast, West Coast, Mid-West: Big Donut.

I know a lot of Protestant churches fall in line with Big Pastry, too. With the Scandinavian heritage of so many Lutheran churches, I suspect we're looking at a Big Danish movement. In any case, I just picture the overlords of the baking industry demanding more, more, more sweet, tasty goodness. There might be hand wringing and a maniacal laugh.

So, now I own my part in the "fattening of America." I don't think I can change my ways. If they have coffee and donuts in the social hall after any Mass, I am going. But don't ask me to drink the coffee there. I am going to Starbucks.*

*Starbucks only uses 1% of the world's coffee supply. They buy only from proper growing regions and are committed to sustainability practices.

He's Almost Home

2008-05-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

After three weeks of being apart, almost four months of traveling, and over 50 performances of Cabaret, The Dad Guy comes home today! It's been a whirlwind, but we are ALL so happy he's coming back.

Granted, the mad dashiness of our life doesn't stop here. Off to stay with my dad for a bit. Yep, the whole crew is making the move for some downtime, a chance to be with "Snappy" for bit, and to make getting more settled in NYC a little easier. Always an adventure with us.

This is going to be a challenging time, and I sometimes find myself wishing it were all a little different. As of late, I suppose my life mantra has been pretty consistently: There is Never Enough Time. So, please say a prayer for us that is a good, happy, easy time. And get out there and enjoy every little minute of time you have!

A Top Ten List, Almost

2008-04-29T15:28:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about pop music lately. I think about pop music a lot, actually. Seeing the Madonna/Justin Timberlake video is inspiring to me. How can Madonna stay so relevant? Will JT ever miss the mark. I love this stuff!

So, in honor of my love of the world of Billboard Top Tens, I offer my top favorite names of pop singers.

SADE: I am pretty sure that no record label would let you have the name Sade in the current pop climate. It's not the name so much as the pronunciation. And I can't believe it got past labels in the 80's, either. How would someone go to Tower Records and find the album by the woman whose song "Smooth Operator" was backsold as "Sharday?" Where do you start to look that up? And now, if you were to type "Sharday" into iTunes, I suspect you might not find what you are looking for. The music business can go for lowest common denominator sometimes and I am impressed that they didn't go all 'hooked on phonics' to help sell records.

RICK ASTLEY: So, I feel like Rick Astley is the kind of guy who might have Google Alerts and he might like seeing his name pop up on the internets, right? And, wouldn't it be cool if Rick Astley read my blog?! It's not like he has anything else to do. But, Rick, I'm never going to give you up. I'm never going to let you down. I promise.

PRINCE: You had to see this one coming, right? I mean he's Prince, he's the Artist Formerly Known as Prince, and he even just rocked a symbol for awhile. Nice. And, you gotta know he has a great name if even the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson, when naming his children says, "You know what's a great name? Prince." In fact, he liked the name Prince Michael so much he used it twice.

MOBY: There was a great episode of "How I Met Your Mother" where the gang runs into a guy that they are sure is Moby. They have him tag along on their New Year's Eve adventures. It's later discovered that the guy is a) really creepy, and b) someone other than the pop star. So, for the rest of the episode they refer to the guy as Not Moby. I guess there are two kinds of people in the world: Moby and Not Moby. And you have to appreciate the literary reference.

RICK SPRINGFIELD: Okay, so this is a bit of a stretch, and I don't have any intention of loading this list with "Ricks" per se, but I heard a song recently that sleighed me. It's a Rick Springfield song where he laments being confused with "The Boss" himself, Bruce Springsteen. I don't know who confused these two. Ever. But if it's about the "spring" in his last name and that's all it took to inspire this song, I love it! Take a listen to "Bruce" to hear what I am talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW1Frr4OcRc.

DOLLY PARTON: No one else could pull off the name "Dolly" like this tiny, well-endowed, generously coiffed spitfire. You gotta be bold to call yourself, "Dolly." And with genius tunes like, "Jolene," I am glad she didn't decide to call herself anything else.

If I try to fill in a Top Ten list I am sure boredom will set in, for all of us. So, I am settling for a Top Six, and letting you all throw in your bids for the last four spots. And, if you decide to offer your two cents I will love it, but remember, we are going with solo artists, not bands. Coming up with odd but lovable band names is like shooting fish in a barrel. Chumbawumba, anyone?

Me and My Girl

2008-04-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

I don't normally put photos of myself anywhere on the interwebs if I can help it. But I do love to show off The Babes. So, thinking we are looking more and more alike, I thought I might share this photo The Dad Guy snapped the other day of me and my favorite girl.

What do you think? Are we starting to look more alike?

Do I look like I need a lot more sleep? I do.

2008-04-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

It's been too long since my last post, so I decided to throw something up here.

Maybe this is a good time to share some great news. It's 10:34 p.m., and you know where my daughter is? Asleep! We now have a regular bedtime routine and she is in bed, most every night by 8:30 p.m. And she sleeps for many, many hours at a time. Can you believe it? Now I just need to figure out what to do with myself!

I never thought I would reclaim this part of my life, but here we are.

It's hard to believe Little G is almost a year old. We are trying to plan her first birthday party. We've been brainstorming on how to throw a great little party for our favorite little lady buddy. Any suggestions?

Tapping into Pop Culture

2008-04-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

The husband and I were chatting the other day about what I know anything about. The fact is that I know a little bit about a lot of stuff. I am the Queen of Useless Trivia, so to speak. We concluded that pop culture is really my area of expertise. I have no idea what I am supposed to do with this information.

In any case, I was brainstorming on all things pop-culturey I might want to blog about yesterday, and I thought about reality TV. I am not a big reality TV fan, as such, because none of it is "real." I think of it as commensurate to having conversations with total phonies who say, "I'm just keeping it real," which is code for, "I am full of it" or "I don't care about what my actions have to do with anyone else." They may not know it's code. Reality TV is full of it, and it shows no concern for consequence, so it's all kind of the same gig to me.

But, I loved the first couple seasons of the Real World. It appears that it has now sunk to desperate lows of depravity, but the first few seasons were like gold to voyeurs like me. The people on the shows had no idea that they might become "famous." They worked real jobs and had real relationships with their roommates, for better or for worse. The first meetings weren't set-up as the "who would I like to screw?" intros that they are now. I loved the first couple seasons of American Idol, too. These were real unknowns who just wanted to sing. Most of the contestants just wanted a chance to sing for an audience. No one was being courted by celebrity fashion designers to wear their clothes during performances. They took it seriously, but not too seriously. And they didn't talk back to the judges. Contestants honestly say stuff like, "Who are you to judge me?" THEY ARE THE JUDGES.

So, I know the names and story lines of the first couple seasons of both shows. I couldn't tell you the names of anyone from "The Amazing Race," "Survivor," "Big Brother," "Beauty and the Geek," etc. And, I grow to hate the current seasons of anything "reality," more and more. But, I thought that I might start blogging about the pioneers of reality TV. I know Kevin from the original Real World, New York, has been writing for Vibe magazine, and is very politically involved. Heather, also from NY, started producing hip-hop music. Judd and Pam from San Francisco got married. What became of the rest of them? These people who basically gave their lives for the new face of TV, actually wanted to go back to their real lives. And they live real lives now. They aren't trying to work their way onto TMZ, just to stay in the spotlight.

I was thinking that maybe I would start a series of posts dedicated to the "whatever happened to..." of legit pop culture icons. And, I was wondering, just yesterday morning, where could I start? Then, I turned on MTV at 10 p.m. last night. I never watch MTV anymore, but last night I thought, why the heck not? And you now what was on, "The Real World Awards Bash." They were pimping the next season of the show while looking back at the last 19 parts of the series.

It was a bizarre coincidence to find this on last night. And it was one of the weirdest things I have ever seen on TV. It was crazy to see what has become of most of the people. The most legit people were on via video clip. They were too classy to show up for the pool-side booze-fest. Yes, there was a pool. And, yes, people ended up in it. Big surprises abound. As I suspected from my earlier musings, I didn't recognize about 80% of the people. From what I could tell in their clips and from the awards, I believe that none of these people have jobs, and have embarrassed themselves beyond the point of no return in their appearances on the show. Seriously. I was embarrassed for them.

My hubby came home partway into the spectacle, and was shocked to find me watching it. He knows my deep and abiding loathing for programs like, "Girls Gone Wild," and this basically looked like 90 minutes of that. He asked me to justify why I was okay with this and not with GGW. Girls Gone Wild is the ultimate example of what I hate about current popular culture. While I was pregnant I'd see those ads and completely freak out, yelling at the TV. So, so awful. But, all I could think to answer the husband was, I was watching to see the what's become of the blueprint for current television and what people want to see. I like to be in the know. Sadly, in all its hideous, exploitative, embarrassing, self-indulgent, wrecked messiness, this is exactly what that blueprint built.

And, for the record, I don't need to do all that much research. The starting point is all pretty well done for me. Check it out here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Real_World. And for more that is the abomination of the Awards Show you can check this out: http://www.mtv.com/ontv/specials/real_world_awards/.

Maybe I will see what else I can dig up here on these Internets another day.

Eating While...

2008-03-24T17:57:00.000-07:00

Eating is the kind of thing that you should be focused on when you do it. But we all know that people often partner all sorts of activities with eating. Sure, eating and drinking go together, that's obvious. But, even from an early age, everyone learns to not talk with your mouth full. Feeding Little G today, I had to instruct The Dad Guy not to distract her. "Let's stay focused on eating, little girl..." I said.

One of the more famous websites dedicated to the idea of what it's funny to do while eating has to be, http://cryingwhileeating.com/. It funny to see the combinations of what types of tears are shed over various cuisines. It's also just generally funny to see people distracted from two endeavors that should require one's full attention, crying and eating.

My husband tells tales of when he wanted to know what it was like to eat while showering. As it turns out, unbeknownst to him his brother tried Eating While Showering, as well. Years later they discussed their experiences. What, you might ask, did my hubby choose to eat in the shower? Chicken. Yup, a chicken drumstick, in fact. You might think this would be a time that would call for watermelon, right?

Which brings me to the reason from my post on this topic. I was driving down I-5 last week and was stuck in traffic. Big surprise (How do you do it Zesty Jenny!?)! But someone to lighten my mood and make my trip a little easier, I had the time to look over and see a guy driving a Ford Explorer. And Eating While Driving. It's not advisable in any case. But do you know what this guy in a business suit in an Explorer was eating? A really big chunk of Watermelon.

That was weird.

Spitzer Swallows

2008-03-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

Happy Valentine's Day, Everybody!

No, I haven't lost it. Yet. I know that we are long past Valentine's Day. But it's sort of been in the news as of late, so I thought I would address it, even if we've added a few days to the calendar.

It's been in the news via an unlikely source, Eliot Spitzer. Yes, that Eliot Spitzer. Yeah, some Valentine, right?

Well, it turns out that his infamous tryst as Client #9 was on February 13-- Valentine's Eve. Yucky Pucky. This means that he presumably left DC and headed North on the 14th to spend the holiday of love with his wife and the mother of his children. Again, yuck.

Is there anything that Mr. Spitzer could have done on February 14 that would have made it a good holiday? Anything that would have made up for the $4500 travesty of the night before? Try as he may, try as he might, we all know that there is NOTHING he could get her to make up for his action. What his wife really wants is to trust her husband again. You can't buy that at Tiffany. The only things he buys soothe his own conscience.

What the hell was he thinking? Beyond the ethical and moral ramifications, this guy is a big pile of idiot. Did he think he wouldn't get caught? The guy busting up corruption in NY thinks he gets away with this? What a moron, right? He thought he could illegally move $80,000+ around to pay for hookers and his poor wife, kids and state constituency wouldn't find out. Amazing.

And Valentine's Day eve... His poor wife gets trotted out last week in front of the media, as the February 13 extravaganza plays out: where he was, who she was, how much he paid, his "special" requests. And she's just standing there, stricken. No one asked her where she was on Valentine's Day Eve. What did she get him? What did he get her? I didn't notice any big bling. I suppose anything of note surely would have lost its luster already.

* * * * * *
Even if he gave his wife this gift, it couldn't be enough. He could even throw in a line about how it represents "their journey." What a journey it is now.

But, for fun, let's just say Mr. Spitzer did go all out this Valentine's. Here are some thoughts on what he might have gotten "the Mrs." this year:

A Monthly Delivery Program so she's reminded of him 12 wonderful times a year

Lasting Moments: Creative Memories Scrapbooking Magazine subscription (so she can archive all the good times)

Giant Bear with Roses, (Nothing says love like a big old stuffed animal)

Sandals Jamaica Getaway: For Two People in Love Package

Or This Getaway instead-- it strikes me as more his style

Boudoir Photography Session of Sexy Photos... of Himself!

Personalized Glass Photo Frame: Is this what love looks like? (quite frankly anything from this site looks like a good choice)

That's just a start. And if they do work through this he's going to have a lot of gift-giving to do. Remember Kobe Bryant? I'm having a really hard time getting in this guy's shoes myself. Any Other thoughts on what he might have give?

We are the Champ-ions

2008-03-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

What I am working on right now:

Darina Allen's Champ

This is not a book or an album, it's a recipe. My family is having our annual St. Patrick's Day to-do tonight and I volunteered to make Champ. It's really just fancy shmancy mashed potatoes, but a very traditional Irish dish. The scallions are chopped. The potatoes are boiling. The milk is ready to be warmed.

The woman who wrote the recipe uses some fabulous lingo in it. She says to put "knobs" of butter in a well on the top. The knobs are all prepared. But my favorite item she instructs is that you are to boil the potatoes with their jackets on. I love the idea of potatoes in jackets. In fact, I really like personification of inanimate objects. Seriously. Ask me about it sometime. It's pretty much always funny to me.

So, The Champ is happening. And it's going to be really, really good. Along with all the other tasty items being prepared. And this way we can make St. Patty's last through the actual day, March 17. But we celebrate today in order to not conflict with Holy Week, which starts on Monday. This issue hasn't come up in decades, but we're finding a way to make it work. Little Irish Catholic trivia for you.

My Mom Is Awesome

2008-03-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

This is a shot from the Washington State Senate last week where Senate Resolution 8717 was passed, honoring my mom. It's bittersweet because she can't be here with us to celebrate this amazing honor. Were she still here, last Tuesday would have been, well, Tuesday.

I have been battling the bitter part of the "bittersweet" as of late, but today I am savoring the sweet. My mom was one amazing lady and I am so blessed to have her as my mom. I am extra blessed that I have gotten to share her with so many appreciative people. The language of the bill is quite "senate-y" but really nice:

http://apps.leg.wa.gov/documents/billdocs/2007-08/Pdf/Bills/Senate%20Resolutions/8717-Kathy%20McEntee.pdf

I treasure all this, but I think my favorite part is that she "acted on her deeply held beliefs in such a manner that she brought honor and dignity to herself and to our state, and resulted in her gaining the respect of even those who most vehemently disagreed with her on policy..." This is a conversation Mom and I had a lot. She would say that there were people who called her controversial, but, moreover, said there were people who didn't like her. I often noted that people may disagree with her, but they all respect her. And, they do. What is there not to love about this woman? You couldn't help but like her. She deserves respect and she got it. Now, it is forever in the record of Washington State that this is true.

Another neat part of this is that it was introduced as a bi-partisan resolution. She would like this almost as much as the fact that it thanks her husband and kids. My dad and I talked the other night and we talked about how my mom would never take credit for the things she did. She was always so grateful to my dad and really praised his faith, dedication, fortitude, and on and on. She's 100% right about all that and more. My dad is quite remarkable, too, I'll have you know. But, my mom would always tell you that everything she did wasn't about her, but was for "Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam" (AMDG) or as it is translates, "For The Greater Glory of God."

I am constantly thinking about the ways I can be more like my mom. How lucky I am to be like her in many ways already. Living for the Greater Glory is certainly a start. I am praying for the blessings and gifts that only come from God like the ability to make people see the best in themselves and make them feel special, the ability to connect with people in a unique way, to light up a room, and to make people feel good... (she had more gifts than I can possibly name here). I am praying, too, for the patience to develop these skills-- and wisdom to discern them as they are presented to me. I ask for wisdom and patience a lot. It can't hurt to ask you to pray for me to have those gifts, too.

Please continue to pray for my family. We all have a hole in our hearts. Please pray for me and for people generally to become better and more loving.

As many have said in honor of my mom, I add, "Job well done, good and faithful servant." What I add is, "I have fought the good fight. I have run the race. I have kept the faith." Yes, you have, Mom.

Color My World

2008-02-28T10:47:00.000-08:00

Hello friends!
I added a special new feature to my blog recently. I have a profile photo. Up until now the perfect photo had eluded me. Then I found this one. (Look! My profile is over there, just to the left.)

I encourage you to visit my profile and click the button to enlarge it. If you want you can print it out and make a craft project of it. Perhaps there will be a contest in honor of my birthday in May. We'll see.

It's not so much homework as it is a fun diversion, right? It's not a command performance.

Stealing a Post

2008-02-25T22:27:00.000-08:00

Oooh, I was totally going to write about this and my sister beat me to it...

Celebrities Separated at Birth

I was completely thinking this when I watched the Oscars, then Kate just had to be a little quicker on the mouse clicking.

She is fabulous, that Kate, and always gets to things first. She got Batman, I got Robin. She got first pick on them Duke boys. She got The Ricker, letting me have Derek (fine by me now!). She got Dan Tanna, I got Binzer.* She got BJ, I got "The Bear."* That's just the way it goes sometimes.

*We really had to have been watching those shows in reruns. We were too young to have watched original airings.

The Greatest Hits

2008-02-23T16:31:00.000-08:00

Searching for my blogging identity, I looked back at some of my original posts to see why I started this endeavor in the first place. I don't have that many posts (so you could certainly read them all yourself), but it seemed I had more of a sense of what I wanted to say when this not-a-novel began. Perhaps pregnancy and parenthood have clouded my mind as I often feel a little less sharp than I might have once been, but this seemed like a nice little post. It's a bit outdated and you'll surely notice the "I don't have kids reference," but it still rings true for me.

Sadly, my mind is less clear, but what I definitely still have stored are TV themes and facts, baby business and useless trivia. So, when I can't come up with coherent posts like the following, that's probably the kind of stuff you'll get.

I think I may have doubled my blog numbers since this original entry from April 2006 (are there four of you now?) so a few of you might have missed this:

Next time you are watching a movie or a TV show, remember the term “Suspension of Disbelief.” That’s the term that writers, directors and producers give to the necessary relationship between viewer and program that allows a car to blow-up without the guy standing next to it getting even a scratch, or the fact that a problem can be introduced, dealt with and solved in 22 minutes. None of these things can happen in real life, so you have to stop yourself from saying, “That could never happen,” in order to embrace the story.

Life sometimes hands us situations that require a similar response. Some might simply call it “belief.” Many call it “faith.” In any case, it seems to me that the power to believe in something or someone is the greatest power we have. It is a human power that actually can cause a transformation in what we empower. In a stage play, believing that the set is really a living room or a forest makes it so. And, more importantly, believing that someone can do or be something actually gives them the capacity to make it so. Unbelievable? Not so much.

Growing up Catholic, I learned that at the Great Amen, transubstantiation occurred. Amen roughly translates to the phrase, “I believe.” It is an incredibly powerful word through all Christian faiths. In transubstantiation, Catholics believe that ordinary bread and wine become the real physical presence of the Lord. And it is a real transformation that happens when we believe. It is the ultimate fulfillment of faith. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered that it is this foundation in faith that shapes everything I do.

In my job as a talent agent I cannot count how many times I am asked the question, “Do you think I have what it takes to ‘make it?’” Of late I realized that what they really seem to be asking is, “Do you believe in me?” That’s a powerful question to be asked regularly. I don’t have any kids yet, but I imagine that a parent is asked that in a million ways, quietly and out-loud every day. For me, it is an odd experience that strangers are hopeful that I will believe in them. Odder yet, when I do believe in people, it can have the capacity to shape their life. One actress I work with, for instance, had never done any sort of film work before and had only worked in theatre. She didn’t think that she could just make the leap, but I told her she could, and that she should. She subsequently booked just about every audition she went on. After booking a pretty high-profile job, that will be taking her to LA this winter, she called and said, “Thank you for believing in me.” I hung up the phone and cried. If in my life I am never blessed to hear those words again that will still be enough. I touched someone’s life for the better because I believed in her. Unbelievable? For me, it was.

This is not to say that I am one truly special person. Quite the contrary, I would like to submit to you that we all have this little bit of “miracle” within us. Whether you just listen to the story of the guy next to you on the bus one day, or take a child under your wing as a mentor, you can transform the lives of others. It is the “Great Amen” of life. Letting others know that we believe in them, in big and small ways, is one of the few ways that an individual can actually transform the world for the better. It is how we are called to bless others, so to speak.

I am who I am because others have believed in me. That transformation made me know myself and believe that I could accomplish the extraordinary. Once upon a time, I would never have thought that I would have had anything valuable to put into print. But, here I am writing an article, speaking my mind, and sharing my belief, because someone told me once that my voice was worth hearing. Maybe yours is, too.

Unbelievable? Absolutely not.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. Thanks for always believing in me, Mama. You made me feel truly special because I always was in your eyes. I hope I can transform others the way you had a gift for doing. You always saw the best in people and helped them live to their greatest potential by helping them see it, too. I will be lucky to be half the woman you were and still are. +

Muchas Gracias

2008-02-21T09:37:00.000-08:00

I just want to say thanks to all the nice people who commented and added their $.02 on my blog. You had very nice things to say and some great advice. I honestly feel special, and that's nice. My mom had a way of always making me feel special and it's been sorely missing for the last several weeks.

So, in honor and appreciation, I offer musing on my favorite topic, and one of yours apparently, as well: Baby.

While the Dad-guy and Little G are apart I thought I would send him photos and updates on her. I was able to make a recording of her saying, in a blissful little voice, "Hi Da-Da." Last night she went crazy trying to talk to him on the phone. Then there are the camera phone pictures. This one is too cute to describe, so here it is:

He is off to NYC this weekend to do a reading for Lincoln Center (pretty awesome!) and the message that went along with this basically said she's getting ready for his big trip. There are hearts on her little jacket and she's wearing her fancy new boots. Crazy cute, if a little gender neutral.

A few hours later she had a diaper issue that was very unpleasant. In fact, it was such a problem that she may not be able to wear this top ever again... Yikes!

That's all for now!

P.S. The vacuum cord you see in the back has been moved. A few days ago she couldn't get to it, but she can now. Ah, keeping up with baby.

On Topic

2008-02-19T13:40:00.000-08:00

So, I am temporarily back from San Jose. I will have to follow the prior posts instructions (in a modified form) to get back down there. At least now I already know the way.

In any case, I have been in San Jose because my sweet hubby is going a show down there. He's rehearsing and then performing through March 16. I will head down when the show is in performances so I can see him be awesome. I guess he is always awesome, but his job allows him to be publicly awesome and I get to participate in that. He will be doing the same show, and being publicly awesome, in Seattle after San Jose. Should be fun. So, I am currently home playing single mom. Now is time to note the name of my blog.

Listen, I have got to be honest, I am not a very good blogger. Please don't stop reading here. It's just that my blog doesn't have any focus. I don't know if I imagined there would be more about the adventures of a gal who flits about while her hubby entertains the masses. I actually came up with the phrasing "theatre widow" with a guy whose wife did shows with my hubby. We joked about being widowed by the theatre who stole our spouses for long stretches. My mom used to joke that she was a "golf widow" because my dad would take off for the course regularly. All this "widow" business seems a little grim right now, and certainly doesn't address what I blog about. But what the heck do I blog about?

As for being a personal essayist, that seems quite accurate. I studied "Personal Essay" in college-- one of my favorite classes ever, might I add? I loved the short attention span theatre of it all. You could title something, "On ______," muse about that topic for a couple pages and be onto the next thing. That is me. I like short stories, one act plays, TV shows, etc. Not that I don't have the commitment to longer endeavors, but I like the get to the crux of the matter and know the whole tale. Now that I am saying this, I am clearly the product of a lot of TV viewing. A psychic told me once that I would write a book. That isn't too far off, as I am a writer, but this gal doesn't have the commitment to writing a novel. A collection of personal essays. That I can do. Ergo, I'll never write a novel. I have even written this post in spurts. I can't commit to 500 words of continuous writing.

Maybe it's just all about the baby now. The reason I do this in small segments is because she is so entertaining/adorable/needy that I can't keep focused on one this. Maybe this is just another Mom's blog now. Somehow I don't think that's it.

Lots of blogs are commited to commenting on a specific topic. Is there anything I know enough about to commit a website to? Not really. I know a little bit about a lot of stuff. I'm not sure anyone would consider me an expert in anything. [Aside: I sometimes dream of being on a TV special (VHI, MTV, TLC, E!, etc.) as "Pop Culture Expert," or something like that. I mean they have people who are TV experts and I don't know how they get those gigs. I looked into where I could get a pop culture masters, actually. In fact, I found a program that studied theology and pop culture. That would be the PERFECT program for me. Scene.]

Now I have recently seen blogs that review stuff. I like schwag. Seriously. They don't call me "Clearance Pants" for nothing. I worked in radio for a long time, and I won't lie, I loved the freebies. So, is it possible I could commit to reviewing stuff and getting to try it? How does that work? Who sends free stuff? Who would want to know my two cents on anything anyway? If I could write and get free crap that would be fine by me. So, start sending me stuff.

Finally, I ask you, oh readers. The few. The proud. The Noreens. Do you think there is already a clear voice here? Do you find what you are looking for when you stumble upon this barely actually existent location? Is there something more you would like to hear about from me? Would you honestly like to hear less?

If you have an opinion, I'd love to hear it. But be nice. My ego is fragile. Not fragile so much as accident prone and already bruised.

Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

2008-02-04T12:33:00.000-08:00

I do know the way to San Jose... I am here right now. The way here is:

1. Get up at 3:30 a.m.
2. Get a ridiculously incompentent driver to take you to the airport.
3. Bring your dog, your baby, and all your crap with you to the nightmare that is check-in and security.
4. Tell the airline staff that you do, in fact, have your pet's travel certificate (which you really do), and dance around a little when they ask you to present it.
5. Magically not have to present said certificate which your husband threw out.
6. Get through security with your husband holding your dog and you holding your baby while a cavalcade of your junk rolls through the scanner. *Need at least 10 bins for these items.
7. Pack things back up and go to gate C17.
8. Stop at Starbucks to get invigorated.
9. Be blessed enough to have the flight attendant find a way for you, your husband, your baby and your dog to sit in first class. (wheeee)
10. Count your blessings.
11. Enjoy first class and the proper glassware it provides.
12. Pack all your stuff up when the plane lands and be the last people off the plane.
13. Claim the rest of your pile of stuff at baggage claim.
14. Get a mini-van taxi, as you need that much room for your things.
15. Take the mini-van to your hotel in San Jose.

Fifteen easy steps to get to San Jose (or san josee, as Mom would say). Once you are there, be sure to call your family to let them know you have arrived. They miss you and you miss them. Terribly.

What a wild time to be here.

More to come...

There are no words...

2008-01-13T16:08:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I am trying to blog about something there are no words for. Alas, my husband suggested, "You might want to blog today." It's something. I may erase this another day. But I need something to do, and others, strangers, are blogging about this very personal topic, so I might as well.

Yesterday afternoon my mom went home to be with God. I say it that way to remind myself that all the things of earth are temporary. Our eternal home is in heaven where all our loved ones are waiting for us along with the Lord who made us. I know my mom is in a perfect place where the earthly burdens have been lifted. She is all the best things about her. The gates swung wide as she got there and the celebration must be spectacular. I wish she was still celebrating with us, but I will have to be comforted by all the people who remember her so beautifully. She was my mom and my best friend. I had her for far too short a time. But I am so happy she got to meet my baby. I will always be grateful for that. She was the best grandmother I have ever seen and Little G was crazy about her. I mean it. She was totally in love with her-- and clearly it was mutual.

The last time I got to be with my mom she was watching The Babes and I came back to the house to find G sleeping on Mom's lap, happy as could be. I asked my mom if she wanted to do anything and I said I could take the baby. She sort of laughed and and said, "No." She was, as she would say, "in her glory" to be with the babies. And, she was. The two of them were so happy. I treasure that memory. I always will. I remember walking out of the house Mom sending me off, as she always did, saying she loved me, she's talk to me tomorrow, and to drive safely. I thought I would see her Friday afternoon. I talked to her on Thursday, and I even talked to her on Friday, about an hour before she had her stroke. We told one another that we loved each other, as we always did. She told me to bring "her girl" by any time. And I left my house with that intention. But she had a stroke and when I got to the house, I picked my dad up and we followed the ambulance to the hospital. My mom never woke up.

My Aunt Pat said, "We are all blessed to have known her. And we are all lost without her." While there are no words I can say to capture these feeling, but this went a long way. I am not sure I will ever be found.

My mom had the greatest capacity for love that I have ever known. She and my dad have a love that is truly transcendent. It is something special. When two became one on October 20, 1962, those weren't just word. I do not think of them as separate. Her love for her kids was evident, alive. She taught us to love and I hope we can keep up her gift to us. This is a woman who LOVED being a grandmother. It was a miracle. There were lots of miracles. And we all loved her. Endlessly. This wouldn't hurt so badly right now had we not had it so good. If the kind of love we have had is a trade off for the pain now, I think it's worth the price. I think.

I am not doing this justice, so I will just stop. My only final thought is that my niece Maggie and I have coined the phrase, WWRRD, or What Would Rie Rie Do? (Rie Rie is her grandma name). If I live my life answering that question I know I will be on the right track.

2007, I hardly knew ye

2008-01-09T10:46:00.000-08:00

I've seen this survey on a lot of my favorite blogs lately, and I guess I thought I might give it a go. It's pretty long, and I may not have answers for some, well at least not interesting ones. And looking at the questions, I have to say that my year is like a before and after. There is one life before the Little G, and a new life after. So, here goes.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Everything was new in 2007! I Gave birth, flew while pregnant, lived in NYC, changed my child's diaper, lost baby weight, soothed a crying child, wept with joy at my baby, rang in the year a stone's throw from Time's Square.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make resolutions in 2007 (I normally don't), but I am sticking to my 2008 resolutions.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
So very many people close to me gave birth, most essentially me on April 29. Also, my sister-in-law, Sonja, gave birth to Ellie. Two months later our good family friend, Rosalie ,gave birth to Ivan. Then, two of my best friends, Kathryn and Raina, gave birth to babies within 10 days of one another, Oliver and Nhyia, respectively. I might even be forgetting people.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not in 2007
5. What countries did you visit?
I don't remember leaving the country.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Sleep.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Obviously, April 29, 2007, will forever be etched in my mind. Greatest day in my life to date.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Well, not to be redundant, I gave birth, in a tub, at The Birthing Inn, with no drugs, on April 29. I started with contractions at about 10 a.m., got to the Birthing Inn at 2:10 p.m., and had The Babes by 3:56 p.m.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Any that I didn't learn from.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was in a constant state of physical change in all of 2007, and I am still getting back to stasis.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A sofa. How comfy! I didn't have one for the first seven or so months of my pregnancy. It was a religious experience getting one.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My child's. She is a miracle.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
While I am often appalled by the selfishness of people, I try not to get depressed by it. The celebrity machine makes me sick.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Most of my money goes to the basics: food, shelter, the baby, etc. There were a couple splurges.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Would you like to make a guess? Having a baby is the greatest anticipation. And, I got really excited about Christmas!
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
It will take me a little while to digest which ones ring most specific for this year. Tiana put "Baby I'm Yours" on a CD of baby songs. It became my lullaby in the beginning and that song will always stick with me. Oooh, and I think Kanye West's "Stronger" will always sound like 2007.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) happier b) thinner c) about the same
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I didn't get nearly enough sleep, but I am not ready to give that time back. Pray. Keep in better touch with friends.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Watch TV.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I had the best Christmas ever. I spent Christmas Eve with the in-law side of the family and it was glorious. Christmas day was with my family, surrounded by the whole crew, while it snowed. It felt so right to have three stockings at the fireplace this year. We have always been meant to be more than a two stocking family.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I fell in love with my husband all over again, and I fell in love with my child more every day.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
I watch too much TV, so I have a few favorites: LOST, Heroes, Colbert Report, How I Met Your Mother, 30 Rock, Ellen, Big Bang Theory, Scrubs, So You Think You Can Dance. Oh, boy I watch a lot of this crap.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't really use that word.
24. What was the best book you read?
I read lots of baby books, and not very many books for pleasure. Embarrassing. Maybe "The Baby Whisperer."
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Always my husband.
26. What did you want and get?
A happy, healthy baby. A new sofa. Peace of mind. iPod touch.
27. What did you want and not get?
Bags of money falling from the sky.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Too hard to say.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I saw "West Side Story," and got to go backstage (first night away from Little G). I turned 30.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less debt.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Transitional.
32. What kept you sane?
My family.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Stephen Colbert, perhaps.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Human rights.
35. Who did you miss?
Lucy, my niece, who passed away at three and a half months. I have a new found understanding of the loss as a mom now.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Oh, I don't know, my baby.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
"And Hope Does Not Dissapoint..."
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Baby, I'm yours. And I'll be yours till the stars fall from the skies. Yours until the poets run out of rhymes."

There you have it. A huge year summed up in simple questions. Well, close enough.

The Magic of Language

2008-01-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

Some might call me a word nerd. Maybe I am.

My husband laughs at me because I like puns and plays on words. It's simple and so am I. Here are a couple of funnies that caught my eye as of late:

1. A client wrote to me the other day suggesting that they had several parts to cast in a video. He writes, "I wanted to give you a heads up so that you could start thinking about who might fit these rolls..." I always like a potato rosemary. That's just me. Depends on the meal.

2. It's old news but last month Seattle launched the South Lake Union Trolley. It makes me giggle. Let me help you out with this one if you are, as yet, unfamiliar

S outh
L ake
U nion
T rolley

3. On the same day that the SLUT began taking be taking people for a ride, Chicago got big sports news. With my mind now already in the gutter, my brain was clearly elsewhere as the graphic came up to tease to sports. The sound was down, so I didn't know what they were talking about. What would you think?

Chicago gets Fukudome

Now I would be mad if they tore down Wrigley Field to build something else, too. It might even make me want to call it an expletive. It seemed like this might be the Chicagoan derogatory term for a new stadium, and the anchors totally said "Slut" earlier. Are they really saying, "Fuk-U-Dome?" (not really swearing here for anyone following resolutions). So, they come back from commercial and I turn up the volume. Turns out the Cubs just got a new ballplayer. He's from Japan. His name is pronounced Fa-koo-do-may. Ahhhh.

Cleaning out the dirty parts of my brain, but leaving all the word nerdery.

* Tee hee hee. Blogger just spell checked the word "Fuk." Do you know what the top alternate is? Dirty.

Getting Better Every Day

2008-01-02T13:28:00.000-08:00

Hello, All! And welcome to 2008. I took some time off to honor the holidays and I am back to be a better person in '08.

That is, in fact, my resolution. I know it kind of sounds like a cop out, but I intend to have concrete markers for this and to be resolute-- as a resolution might call me to be. Here are some things in store:

--I will be more personal in my interactions with loved ones. This involves finishing my thank you notes from Little G's presents, sending the birth announcements I ordered months ago, and making sure I write handwritten notes from time to time. I value these things so much in my life and want to share that with others.
--I will not be swearing anymore. Not that I think swearing makes someone a "bad person." It's just not right for me. Swearing often comes from an angry place with me. I don't want to be angry. If I am upset, it needs to get expressed differently. And I don't want The Babes growing up with a potty mouth.
--Donate more time and money to charitable causes. I have many causes I care about and want to be more involved with my church. This will happen more in '08
--I intend to live more simply. I don't need much. I need my family, my friends and the basics of life. I want to spend less $$$ so I can not be stressed about it. The stress takes away from the stuff that is ACTUALLY important.
--Take better care of myself. I plan to work out twice a week (at minimum), eat less junk, get more sleep (when Little G works her sleep business out), etc. Easier said than done.
--In addition to the items above I am committed to flossing. Yes, I said flossing. Every day. I heard somewhere that flossing can add years to your life. All the items above, and this pesky flossing business, are meant to ensure I long healthy life, to a ripe old age, so that I might fully enjoy all of the blessing and milestones of The G's life. I think I might be able to make it to a time where I could even see her grandchildren. Wouldn't that be cool?
--Pray more. This is at the core of who I am and what I value. I will go to church at least once a week and pray every day.
--Forgiveness. I want to be a more forgiving and peaceful person. This goes as much for forgiving myself as for forgiving others.
--Be nicer to my husband. He gets the brunt of my frustrations and it isn't warranted. We are a team and I choose him to be my other half for the rest of my life-- and clearly I plan for these to be long lives (he's already a good flosser). They should be joyful years and not anxious ones. I went to a wedding over the weekend and the sermon was about building a marriage on a strong foundation and loving one another fully. I get it.

Obviously there are a lot more elements, but this should be a good start.

I decided to close on the note about my sweet husband, as today is our ninth anniversary. Happy, happy day! I cannot believe I am old enough to have been married this long. Honestly, at the particular moment, I am so grateful to still be together and to still love him so very much. Marriage is hard. Anything worth having always is. We have certainly had our ups and downs, but now, more than ever, I am so happy we have been able to stick it out. He makes me who I am, and I am eternally blessed by and grateful for that.

Happy, happy day. Happy, happy year...

My Dad Invented Those Chips

2007-12-12T14:36:00.000-08:00

I was over at the folks the other night and we were having sandwiches (or sangwiches, as one might say). My dad had picked up some chips to accompany said sandwiches and I balked at the Salt and Vinegar chips selected. My mom kind of looked at me funny, essentially meaning, don't badmouth the chips. She said, "Your Dad made those." But the ones my dad in hand were Lay's chips, the once-upon-a-time arch rival of my dad's former company, Nalley's. He certainly could not have made these ones. My dad didn't make Lay's chips. Then Mom clarified, "Your dad made salt & vinegar chips. The first ones were made in my kitchen."

How did I not know this detail? My dad was part of the invention of Tang, THE orange astronaut drink. This I knew. Maxim Coffee--the first freeze-dried kind-- Yikes! but I know about it. Tang Mayonnaise, a precursor to Best Foods, as I understand-- I am familiar. But somehow I never knew my dad came up with the idea and recipe for the first salt and vinegar chips, known as Piccadilly Chips. My parents had just moved back to the states from Canada. When my family would go out to dinner in Canada there was malt vinegar on tables next to ketchup. Apparently that wasn't a thing yet on American restaurant tables yet. My dad loved this clever Brit import and translated into potato chips. He created the recipe in my family's kitchen with my pregnant mom standing by. She had to have either loved or hated that smell. I am sure it brings back memories to this day.

As it turns out, my dad says you can't patent a flavor. So, once it was out there, it was up for grabs and many other companies followed suit. But all thanks to my dad. Cool, right?! My dad is very smart.

The weird part of the story has to be that my dad said that there is one place in the United States where you send recipes so they can "create" the flavor for mass production in a lab. That kind of creeps me out. He talked about this mysterious place like it was common knowledge.

With my new found respect for Salt & Vinegar chips, I shall never turn my nose up at them again. I might even start to enjoy them on occasion. It's a new taste to acquire. Thanks, Dad.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2007-12-06T19:19:00.000-08:00

It's Christmastime, Everyone! And I do feel it's the most wonderful time of the year. I am actually kind of a Christmas nut job. It's true. I got married at Christmas to have lit trees as the backdrop to my wedding. I start a Christmas countdown at 100 days. I happen to know when it's 100 days till the holiday because it gloriously coincides with one of my sister's birthdays. I am not sure she even knows that her birthday begins the countdown, but somehow I do. In any case, everyone who knows me knows I love it, and now, so do you.

So, it was an amazing day last weekend when I got to cut down my Christmas tree with my husband and my firstborn child. There was a chorus singing, I think. And then, with carols on the radio, joy in the air, and loved ones around me... it began to snow. It was so, so awesome. There aren't words. I thought last year took the cake, the hubby sang "White Christmas" as the Westlake tree was lit the day after Thanksgiving last year. I was pregnant and weeping. And it was fun. That did kind of rock. But this year was just the loveliest.

We made our tree chopping plans thanks to a very cool friend, Shelley. See, Shelley is cool for so many reasons.

A) She's just about as fun and truly nice as you can imagine (Proof: http://shelleynviper.blogspot.com/)
B) She's marrying a man who owns a tree farm (Want one? Try http://sprouffsketrees.com/)
C) She's a kick-a$$ photographer who has done a darn fine job of documenting Lil' G's life. In fact, if you want a peek at my joyous Christmas tree cutting, snowy family spectacular, you can visit Shelley's photo blog: http://shelleymauss.blogspot.com/

If you do visit Shelley's personal blog you'll see that she's a Christmas fan, too. Love that! And she's a darn fine blogger, at that. Ooh, and she's about to get married this holiday season. Congrats Shelley and Jonathan!

So, Merry Christmas to all! And, God bless us, everyone!

How's This Supposed to Work?

2007-12-03T15:07:00.001-08:00

Sorry to be away so long... I have a couple items in the hopper, but nothing is completed to my liking. And, I know if I don't like it, God help me in amusing anyone else.

There's a writer's strike on. It is merely coincidence that my last post and the beginning of the strike match up, but I could say something about solidarity here. I can't. In any case, I caught a blurb today on imdb.com, an entertainment website, and it piqued my fancy (can fancy be piqued?).

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When Does Ad-Libbing Constitute Writing?
Although it is commonplace for actors to ad-lib lines during the production of motion pictures, a thorny question has arisen over whether actors who are also members of the Writers Guild of America may be allowed to do so, the Los Angeles Times observed Saturday. The newspaper noted that while motion picture production has gone ahead on schedule, "habitual" on-set script polishing has been eliminated and some filmmakers, including WGA members, have been left "unsure about what is permissible." The Times commented that comedies, in which many funny lines are made up on the set, have been particularly affected by the strike. "Although actors are still free to improvise," the newspaper observed, "they can't be directly coached into what to say, creating bizarre situations in which writers and directors are using every technique short of hypnosis to get actors to change dialogue."
_____

This is mind-blowing to me. Actors and writers are artists and you would think that the point of the strike is to be able to have creative license and benefit from good work. This is like binding a dancer's feet and asking them to dance, isn't it? What result will this have on the films and TV shows being produced during the strike? Are you telling me ad-libbers, like Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, etc., can't do what they do best on set? Will their be a glut of lackluster film on the market just before the stuff runs out completely?

Wow! I know a lot of actors and this sounds counter to how they work best.

As for the strike itself, I am so sad. Sad because tonight's my last night of new episodes of "Heroes" and "How I Met Your Mother." Sad because I have a real place in my heart for out of work actors and artists. Sad, also, because I hate seeing art being short-changed and taken for granted. Clearly the writers are the reason everything we see happens. The entertainment business is coming to a standstill without them. They should be able to benefit from their work every time people enjoy it. We do, don't we.

So, now, I am stepping down from my soap box, and asking... What do you think about actors being restricted on set? What are your thoughts on the WGA strike? Ideas for a solution, anyone?

What I Love Watching Right Now

2007-11-13T21:08:00.000-08:00

Want a peek at my favorite thing on the interwebs right now...

http://www.microsoft.com/winme/0710/31052/current.htm

Wow! That guy is GOOD. He makes me want to use Office Live. So talented and such a celebrity. Right?

Speaking of celebrities, my hubby gets to be Patrick Dempsey version 2.0 again this week. I haven't seen him in over 2 1/2 weeks and he comes back to hang out with Dempsey. Just kidding. I am always happy for him to do cool worky stuff. And I get my fix of seeing him on the internet anyway! Right?

How cute is my baby?

2007-11-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

As I said in my San Diego post, I have baby vacay photos. And they are so cute, if I must say myself...
This might be my favorite picture of Little G. Dad and Grandpa had gone into Del Taco to get lunch on our road trip. Is she laughing at us for such an awful decision? I think we are just south south of Dana Point. This level of adorable had been, up to this point, hard to capture on film, but somehow we got it here. Thanks, Del Taco!

And then we got to San Diego and captured more cuteness. The Dad Guy had been racing her stroller all around the streets of downtown and the Babes was giggling and having the time of her life. I haven't seen this face nearly as much while he's been away.

There are, of course, more photos to come. And hopefully someone will generously share Halloween photos with me since mine stink. G was a little bear. There should be a shot of her with two other wee ones, a piggie and a monkey. Monkies and Piggies and Bears. Oh my.

And I was Tina Fey, by the way. Basically my costume was me in my regular clothes with a pair of glasses on. And people totally got it. Nice.

I Love Coffee

2007-11-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

I just thought I should put it in writing today. I don't know why today is the day I need to profess my love of the pit of the coffee cherry, but I just needed to say it.

I love coffee.

My addiction has changed over time, but it still has power. I don't drink a dozen or more shots of espresso every day like I used to, but I long for a fix, even if it's a decaf one. Yes, I said decaf, and it's not blasphemy.

Once upon a time, my doctor instructed me that I couldn't have caffeine anymore (at about the time I was slamming shot after shot of the stuff). In fact, my doctor had me account what my daily diet looked like. When I finished he asked, "Do you know that coffee isn't a food group?" Perhaps I didn't realize that. So, years after that medical intervention, I now have to limit or cut out caffeine altogether. That doesn't mean I can't have coffee. I am a decaf connoisseur. And, when I do drink the "real deal" it works like a charm. Back in the day I could drink piles of caffeine before bed (maybe a triple shot and a can of Coke) and go right to sleep. The quality of sleep is certainly in question, but my eyes were shut and there was something sleep-like about it. Now, even one shot of espresso after Noon, and it's no sleep till Brooklyn. Yikes. I like that it possesses it's proper power these days. And I really like that decaf makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Hooray.

I love the smell of coffee, the culture of coffee, the way it makes me feel, the way it makes other people feel. The liquid is magical. It tastes good by itself, with or without sugar, great as ice cream. I could go on and on, but I suspect you already know. As a former barista and coffee specialist at *$, I know the intimate relationship people have with their coffee. Whether it's extra hot, with non-fat or extra pumps of vanilla, whatever the case may be, people like to fill the boxes on the side of their cup. That's what makes it uniquely and possessively theirs. I'll take it just about any way, as long as it's made well. And with good beans. And roasted well.

Finally, a Coffee Haiku:

My dear coffee friend
How lovely you make me feel
Thanks Starbucks Siren

Cheers!

Oprah Controls My Life

2007-11-02T16:58:00.000-07:00

Oprah just had a special on about getting a haircut. She made it sound magical. It sounds life changing. I suspect that every hairstylist in the country is getting bombarded with phone calls right now because that's how it works with Oprah. She likes a book, it sells multi-million copies. She raves about a bra or a pair of jeans: SOLD OUT. Now, she says people should take a look at their hair. And we, en masse, do. I am an impulse haircutter, too. If I don't do it tomorrow, I might not do it at all. But when the moment strikes me, I might just cut it all off. Yikes.

And Oprah says, "Get a haircut." So, I want to. She showed how you can look younger, fresher, better. Me too?

Am I bold? Am I brave? Do I actually need a haircut? If I do get a haircut, what will I do? Can Oprah's people come by and help me out?

The whitest, fattest girl in all of San Diego

2007-10-26T12:48:00.000-07:00

So, I have been in San Diego for the last several days. Yes, it was spectacularly bizarre, and not just because Firestorm 2007 had created a blanket of smoke that wrapped up the city. The nice folks of San Diego made it odd all on their own.

I have never been to San Diego before. Maybe it's not a good time to judge. There were folks walking around with surgical masks as the air quality was labeled "Unhealthy." Perhaps the air quality was affecting other aspects of the city, but somehow I doubt that. In fact, I think it may come off as even stranger without the natural disaster.

What I found about San Diego, and maybe about So. Cal. as a whole, is that "normal" people like me, come off as the weird ones there. I was clearly the whitest, fattest girl in all of San Diego. There may be girls who are fatter and there may be girls who are whiter (although that's a tough call), but I am definitely the combination winner. It was ridiculous. All the women walking around downtown SD had toothpick legs, skeleton frames, golden tans and fake boobs. I don't go the trouble of discounting the boobs here because my nursing breasts are fabulously large, and totally real. But they are white. In fact, perhaps they are the definition of milky white...

It was a little brutal to feel like a chubby, pasty chick in the land of hotness, but, oddly, I felt okay. While all these people are undoubtedly hot, most of them weren't very pretty. And everyone looked the same age, which actually sounds creepy now that I am saying that. When you are 40, I am sure it's awesome to look 30, but it's not so cool when you are 16 and you may look like that same 40-year-old. I have looked the same age for years myself, but its alright by me. I have looked about 21 since I was 18. Being 30 now, and carded for movies somewhat recently, I'll take it.

Apparently I wasn't that worried about my weight while in California. I drank Sangria, ate at In & Out Burger, had dessert at the Ghiardelli shop, had cocktails with my husband, shared a Hershey Bar, indulged in a Monterey Omelet at a beach side restaurant, etc, etc. Wow, now that I am saying this all, it sounds like a darn fine vacation! Photos to come-- paleness and all!

2007-10-18T16:16:00.000-07:00

As an addendum to my last post, I think I realized what it was that was so wild about going to an office and working sans bebe the other day. It's all about focus. My focus is constantly split while working from home. I am at my happiest when I can be fully engaged in what I am doing. Ideally I could just spend all my time focused on The Little G. Sundays are usually my day that I get to be wife and mom. That's the best. The only days I really rest and focus on family are holidays. Sundays are the closest to a holiday as I can get. My life is ruled by expectations and I know that no one expects me to work on Christmas (Thanksgiving, Easter, etc.) so I don't have to worry about work. Aaaaahhh. Otherwise I never know when someone is going to try to hit me up with what they need.

**I started this post way too long ago and didn't finish it. I shall call it done now so I can move on.

I Went to Work Today

2007-10-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

I start this off by saying, "I went to work today." The verb "went" is the key here. I work every day. "Work" is an exceptionally common verb in my world. I never even took maternity leave, just kept working. Office work, house work, mama work, wife work, etc., etc. But today, I got up, got dressed in trouser jeans (note previous post about one pair of non-embarrassing pants), cute brown sweater and fabulous trench. I put on my make-up (ha ha), nursed the Lil' G, and was off. I stopped at Starbucks (ah, sweet coffee), and went to a downtown office to work. I have not gone to work for a meeting by myself in months. It actually felt good. How I appreciate my daughter and how lonely I am in her absence. But I have to say that it felt nice to be a smart, independent individual for a few hours. I am good at my job and it's good to have a moment or two to focus on my skills. I kind of rock.

I had a good meeting, talked about T-town business and answered some email. Then, I checked my mailbox (the papery kind), went to the bank, picked-up lunch and headed home. When I opened the door to be greeted by the sweetest, happy, squealing baby grin. My girl could enjoy seeing me, too, and it was a ridiculously happy moment for the Mama. Hooray!

I definitely don't want to "go" to work every day (I'd also actually like to "work" less, too). I like the idea of appreciating myself and my family more ofter, though. And, I like being appreciated. The change of pace is worthwhile and I need to stay on my toes.

For now, I have to get to "work."

What to Wear?

2007-10-11T14:52:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant I reveled in the ability to enjoy privileges generally reserved for toddlers and the elderly. I am speaking most specifically about (1) naps and (2) ELASTIC WAIST PANTS. I had to capitalize the last part because I was genuinely that elated about it. I didn't have to rock a button, zipper or snap for months (no Amish jokes here). The naps were just icing on the proverbial gestational cake. I often said that I thought I might never go back to standard dressing as I loved the simplicity so much. Postpartum moms assured me that I would change my tune. They were right.

I guess maybe I just got sick of pulling up my pants every second of every day. I thought that elastic was supposed to help your pants stay UP. Alas, not so much. As I have mercifully lost some weight I bought new pants that fit for a week, then began the steady downward drop. I literally end up with the waistband under my bum after walking down the stairs to my front walk. It's comical when it's not sad.

For now, I have some embarrassing pants, and one pair of jeans that, for the moment, stay up. My size is a mystery to me. Seriously. I actually took a dress to the dry cleaners last week and prayed it would fit when I picked it up. As if somehow the dry cleaners had magical powers. But, what's crazier is, it DID! I have no idea if it would fit today, but it only needed to fit on Saturday. And, no elastic waist on my Vera Wang cocktail dress, to be clear.

Now I need to figure out what to wear today...

Now that's funny

2007-10-03T15:41:00.000-07:00

So, six months ago I posted a comment declaring, "I'm back!" I then proceeded to disappear for half a year. I could tell you I planned it as sarcasm but I would be lying.

I had a baby, actually, which is totally blogworthy. Only, I was so wrapped up in living it that I didn't take time to write about it. I often said, "Ooh I should blog about this." But I didn't. I will try to get back to those gems another day. We'll see how that goes.

In any case, today's inspiration is actually my friend, Jill. We snuck into a little email conversation through a group conversation and I asked how she was doing. She had to run, so couldn't write much, but sent me to her blog for a quick update in the meantime. Now, you go: http://www.fecklessessentials.com/

Wow! Jill's honesty, thoughtfulness, intellect, fortitude, passion and fabulousness came right through from these world wide webs. I felt like I was keeping up with Jill, but moreover, learning from her. I have no grand delusions that my blog can be that awesome, but it's nice to be inspired.

I can't promise that I will keep writing regularly. We just have the here and now.

For now, I am writing in between moments of trying to get my daughter to stay asleep for her nap. I have been putting the pacifier in her mouth every couple minutes, but I know she's tired and I hope she'll be out for a bit. It doesn't help that there is thunder and lightning rocking the sky outside. The rain is pouring and I can actually hear it all through the baby monitor as well as in real life. It's really quite lovely, except for the crying that's now wailing in the monitor. Ah, motherhood.

Maybe she can't sleep because she's got a mama-inflicted wound on her hand. I was trimming her pinkie nail last night and, voila, I trimmed a little pinkie finger, too. It was awful. She cried for a little while, but not long. But the bleeding, aaacckk, the bleeding, went on an on. There was blood on the jammies, blood on the sheets, blood on the toys. I called my own mom and confessed I was a bad mother. She, of course, confirmed that I am not. Every mom I have spoken to about this sympathized that the feeling is hideous. C'mon, baby blood is hideous. The only person who told me that everything was fine and not to worry about it was my one sister without kids yet (bless her). She was trying to be nice and helpful, I know. I told her I promised her I will just sympathize with her when it happens in her home down the road. Now I have to hold to that promise since I put it in writing. The Babes is doing better today (the baby bleeding has ceased), but it really breaks my heart to look at her pinkie. Aagh.

Now I have to tend to the totally awake girl, who never did nap. It's time for, something, so I need to focus on figuring out what!

I'm back!

2007-03-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

It seems crazy, and it's been too long, but I return to the blogosphere ready to write. I won't even try to offer explanations for my procrastination, I'm just back. More on that later. Maybe.

I am not sure what exactly I will be writing about but you can suspect it will be funny, insightful, spiritual, a little stressed out at times, and quite readable. And please, note that I said you are welcome to "suspect" that this is the case. I make no promises of my own.

And, my sister inspired me since she's going to be blogging on the topic of TV, and we all know how much I dig that! Thanks, KT!

Tell this Story

2006-09-07T15:56:00.000-07:00

Dear CNN,
Did I hear correctly that to honor the five year anniversary of 9/11 you intend to run your coverage as it happened on September 11, 2001? Really? I have heard this enough to believe it's true, and I think you should know, I am appalled.

This is a day to remember, not a day to relive. It is one of the darkest hours in our collective history, so deeply disturbing. Instead of casting a beautiful light on the tragedy, you have chosen, as I am not surprised, to go for shock factor. You will get viewers whose morbid fascination fuels them. That does not mean that the people watching are wrong or disturbed. But instead of using this opportunity to honor the people who were lost, the heroes that emerged, or even to discuss the world events the surround this, you choose to bury us all in the mire again.

And, aren't you journalists? What a lazy approach to "reporting." You couldn't muster a few commentators and reporters to tell the story. I don't object to you using the footage to illustrate the tragedy, but don't call your re-run journalism.

Please tell the story of September 11. Please tell it all day long. We can never forget this horrible, awful day. We can never forget the spectacular lives lost. We must remember that this happened and the countless lives it touched. But do not make those still suffering repeat the experience and horror.

Tell the story of September 11. It's a story still being told in the lives of those who survived, those who mourn and those who are trying to change the world for the better. Really tell this story. Don't cheat this by making it the story of CNN on that day. Be journalists and find out how this story still lives today.

We can always celebrate the lives lost and the love that carries on.

We can never forget.

I'm in the Mood for Love

2006-08-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

Scroll down if you only want the dish on the Emmy ensembles I loathed. They are much funnier.
But, in the interest of good taste, a dose of respect, and my Pollyanna spirit, I offer a couple-- just a couple-- good choices from this year's Emmys.

Katherine Heigl. Just look at her. I really don’t even need to comment. Perfection.

Megan Mullally: This gal has it figured out. She’s managed to look mature and classy without even hinting at an ounce of matronly. It’s hard to say for sure, but I think she actually might look better than ever. And I love, love, love Badgley Mischka, so if anyone of any import is reading this, we can count that as a plug.

I'd look great in Badgley Mischka.

I Can't Help Myself

2006-08-28T13:13:00.000-07:00

I thought seriously yesterday, while watching the Emmy awards, about how I would love to get a Master's degree in popular culture. I know a lot about it, I study it already, and then maybe I could put this knowledge to good use. I really analyzed the changes in how TV is developed and the people making it. I theorized about the evolution of TV created to be magical by people to whom the medium was "new," versus the much more jaded nature of "knowing" TV that is created now. And then, I thought I would blog on the way people dressed for their big night. I am caddy. I freely admit it.

Presenting the list of the Worst Dressed at the 2006 Emmys:

Candice Bergen. C’mon, if this isn’t the mullet of formalwear: Business on the top, party on the bottom. She can’t figure out if she’s going to a shareholders meeting or an inaugural ball.

Debra Messing: She’s pretty, don’t get me wrong. But if you spent the last two seasons on TV battling baby weight, I might not advise all ruffles on the bottom of your dress. And, this is a very thin woman—who appeared to have back fat. Let me be clear, I don’t think she actually has back tatties, so she shouldn’t ever appear to.

Eva Longoria: She looks weird, right? I can’t tell if he skin’s too fake tanned (like she needs that) or if her hair’s too blonde, but this isn’t working. And this is a woman with about the hottest bod in Hollywood, so why does she look like she trying to cover figure flaws. This isn’t demure, it’s poorly cut.Joan Collins: When all the “Angels” came out, I thought it was pretty cool. They have all clearly had work done with varying degrees of success, and yes Farrah looks crazy—and awful—but they followed Joan Collins, so by comparison, they looked natural. It’s like she had a circa ’83 Joan Collins mask and wig on. Too weird, Joan, too weird.

Maria Menounos: If you are working on credibility, Maria, this Munsters’ dress and my (ponytailed) headband from age 14 aren’t going to do it. I know you’ve stepped up to working the "Today Show" recently, but you really haven’t been doing that great at it, so you way want to leave yourself open to some options—and those options shouldn’t include a job at Claire’s Boutique or the New Addams Family.

Ray Liotta: Botox? Really Ray? You are a much better actor than this. How can you plan to continue your using your gift for looking endearing and menacing at the same time with this elective face paralysis?

Lisa Kudrow: I totally wore this dress in my brother’s wedding a few years ago. I loved how flattering it was, and that my sister-in-law chose something so understated that I could wear again. Did you get this at JC Penney, too, Lisa? And, are you planning on wearing it out again next week-- because you totally could.

Stay tuned for a couple "hits" as opposed to these abominable "misses" in the next post. But before I go...

I can’t find a picture on my final commentary, but some pre-show gal on E! won my award for worst-dressed. Her name is Bobbi something and she had on a monstrosity of a dress with an oversized rosary around her neck. It doesn’t strike me that she’s a faithful Catholic with a strong devotion to Mary, either. It was Goth meets, well, something hideous. If you find a photo, take a look and see what I mean. And then, burn that picture.

Summer's Eve, Makes Me Feel Fine

2006-08-21T16:55:00.000-07:00

Just briefly.

My hubby and I went out with our single friend the other night. We often do. He's great company, and it gives us the singles scene experience we lack. Women flock to him. One night he had three girls basically just give him their numbers. He wasn't even trying. And, he's not smarmy, so he's not playing games to get them. We, vicariously, feel successful when things go his way. We're rooting for him and we chip in where we can help. I don't know if old marrieds ever help, but there we are.

In any case, we were out the other night and one girl, D, seemed really into our single friend. She was out with another girlfriend (note: very drunk friend) who was also enjoying the Taco Tuesday free-for-all. Then, this very random friend of "D" says, "So what's your name," to our friend. He says, "Hey, I'm Jake." And she says, "Ah. 'Jake.' I always think that name seems kind of douchey." We looked at her. "I mean I think of guys being named Jake as real douches. Nothing personal."

Wow. Douchey. It's a whole new word usage, and as a word nerd, I love that. We tried lots of different ways to use it and I think we liked this way best: "Oh, no. Jake just got here. He really douches up the place."

There's your new word: Douchey.

Came in through the Bathroom Pocket Door

2006-07-24T15:15:00.001-07:00

Hey kids, gather 'round, it's time to talk about home remodeling.

So, my beloved hubby is a great remodeler. His work is exemplary and our house and I have benefited tremendously from his carpentry. He really is amazing, but our bathroom has sincerely been in remodel state for about a year now. While our shower was essentially unusable for quite some time, it is now all unusable-- but on it's way to being something marvelous very soon.

We have a pocket door. It's really quite a miracle. I love it. Now our master bathroom is really a master bathroom, as it connects with our master bedroom. Masterfully. I cannot even tell you how cool it is. The way a pocket door works is much more complicated then how a standard swinging one works. It involves taking down drywall, rewiring, re-framing, and, at last, putting in a door that slides elegantly from inside the frame, to it's opening. Cool right? What I really learned is that I love seeing things completed, but with these kinds of projects it has to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.

Now, I am about to make a generalization about women. Please forgive me in advance. In my very unscientific research (talking to women I know), I discovered that most women get very tense when things have entered the "disaster time" just before a project gets finished. I don't believe that I am without "vision" for the finished product, but I truly believe that the whole space becomes a walking nightmare. And it's not done until it is actually done, so who knows how long the absurdity will go on.

Now, my master carpenter husband does not see things this way. He looks at the unfinished pocket door, torn down drywall and backerboard flooring and says, "Wow! This is awesome." And, it does. It looks awesomeish. It will look awesome. But it looks like greatness that wants to be wrapped in drywall, paint and the beautiful tiles that are currently residing in boxes in our living room. It looks awesome in the way a clean, blank canvas looks awesome. Good for now, but not a masterpiece. Yet.

I will post a photo of the pocket door soon. And you will realize it's awesome mastery.

Mystical Tans

2006-07-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

I just overheard a conversation between my husband and one of his friends that made me laugh. They wondered if Robert Smith, legendary lead singer of The Cure, would in this day and age bend to the accessibility of the tan, or still reject the notion of pigment. Note: for those of you who don't know 'The Cure' go look it up, but the cliff notes version features a very pale lead singer.

The decision reached is that Robert Smith would likely have penned the emo pop hit, "Mystically Tan." Perhaps, somewhere he is actually writing that song. I recently saw Robert Smith on some program and I was stunned that he's still sporting the eyeliner and lipstick. I would not advise a woman of his age to be as gussied-up. It's simply not flattering. Somehow he pulled it off 20 years ago, but he should maybe go with a lighter shade, a simpler glass, something less... chalky.

Quickly on Mystic Tans. For us with the creamy white skin, this whole tan in a bottle, "everyone can have a tan" mentality, really stinks for those of us who want to be proud of our paleness. People used to ask, "Do you tan at all?" Now, they ask, "Do you ever tan? Have you tried spray tanning? I bet that would work for you. What about one of those lotions that make you tan?" They think just because everybody can tan, that everyone should tan. God made some of us this way for a reason, and why can't I just embrace that?

Moreover, have you ever smelled this stuff? It's made of beet extract. Beets. No one really likes beets. And they grow deep in the ground. This is the definition of "earthy." All this fake tan smells like something organic on the verge of going bad. Ick.

As Robert Smith might tell you, this smell may not make you want to be, close to me.

Sisters are Doing it for Themselves

2006-07-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

Here we are. It's a day at the beach for my sister and me. Aren't we adorable?

This was part of a series that we did for our oldest, wisest sister about 23 years ago. I love this picture. I think it captures me as a child perfectly (I am the one on the log).

As I prepare for my impending move to NYC, this stood out as something I need to frame and take with me. Oldest sister is guiding me, and I am sharing my experience with my bestest of friends. It's a clear illustration of the truth of my life. Now, only if we could digitally add other, fun-time sister to this mix. That would be ideal. Fun sister says she has a series of photos from about this age in which she has given us makeovers. That is the completion of this series. I'll post it when I get a copy.

Speaking of said impending move. Today is a freak-out day. Some days I am really excited to see what's in-store for me next. This morning, however, I woke up terrified. I don't want to leave home, and I am not really sure that I want to live in New York. I do want to sell my condo, and spend more time having "adventures" with my husband. For the moment I think that I could do that here, but I know we need to get this particular adventure underway.

It would be great if I could take my whole family with me when I go. That's really the only thing that I truly need and care about. I may need to get my whole family to the beach for a photo like the one above so that I can take that little piece with me, too. It's not the same, but it's a start.

Take a Picture, It'll Last Longer

2006-06-05T19:56:00.000-07:00

So, I was just on a favorite blog that I read regularly and saw a post that started, "Don't you hate it when a blog you read doesn't change for a week!" And, I thought to myself, I don't think I have changed my blog in a month. That's not a good way to reel in readers. Yikes.

In any case, I'll be better about blogging. It's a brand new commitment I am making in my 29th year. I turned 29 last week, and I have chosen to embrace it. And, it helps that my new driver's license is way better than my last one.

I actually kept telling people that I was turning 28 again this year. I haven't been overwhelmingly pleased with how 28 went the first time, so I thought I might declare do-over. When I woke up on my big birthday morning I decided I am ready to be 29. Maybe 28 sucks all over the place, in it's traditional timeslot, and in reruns. So, 29 it is.

One discovery I made was that I looked back a little more closely at last the old driver's license as I went in to renew it. It was somewhat enlightening. As enlightening as such a trivial thing can be. On the morning of the birthday, I took exceptional time in styling my 'do and applying a good bit more make-up than is standard for me (truth be told, make-up is less standard for me than it should be). I thought, I need to slog this picture around everywhere I go. It's the picture people are most likely to see of me, especially strangers. If I am going to make an effort, it should be here. So, I made an effort. That's not the startling part of the story. What's more surprising to me than caring about what my ID looks like, is how little I have cared before about what my ID looked like.

I thought back over where I was in my life five years ago, when I got my last license photo taken. It was 2001 and everything sort of sucked. It's no wonder that I could have given a rip what I looked like. My hair is lazily pulled back, I have no make-up on, and I look all-in-all pretty miserable. And, I WAS! I don't think about it that often, but that license is from a realy low-point in my life: my brother-in-law was in the hospital pretty regularly battling a life-threatening illness, I was recovering from mono, a college mentor had just been shot on my college campus, my husband was a miserable wreck, and I was barely keeping the pieces together. This isn't a personal pity party, just the way it was. As I recall, I was trying to keep it together for everyone with a grip that drives fingernails into palms. I may have thought that I was holding it together really well. As it turns out, for the first time in facing that photo everyday for five years, I realized how awful I was doing. For all the pretending it's clear I was a wreck. I don't know why I have never thought about this until it came time to get the new photo.

I spent all this time thinking I just had a crummy ID photo. In actuality, I am still coming to terms with garbage I have been trying to take out for years. Only, I think I may not have gotten it quite out the door. Like the photo, I looked at it everyday, not realizing what I was really looking at it. I'm not a good faker, but maybe I have a gift for looking past or around the junk. But sometimes, you really just have to look at things. So, that's what the blog is about, really looking at things, and it's a big part of the realization of what 29 is supposed to be for me. Maybe I need to get a camera.

If nothing else, I now have a much nicer driver's license picture to look at.

WWJD? Live it Up!

2006-05-02T17:09:00.000-07:00

I am thinking of starting a prayer group. Maybe not a traditional prayer group, but something that might be defined that way. The thing is that I feel like my spiritual cup is emptying more quickly than I can fill it, and I need to figure out how to replenish it.

It's not that I have lost my faith or that I am spiritually bereft, I just need some essential, day-to-day, spiritual connections. I want to talk about things like why bad things happen to good people and what miracles really look like at a deeper level. And, I want to do it without freaking people out. This isn't the stuff of cocktail conversation or business calls. I just want to have a time and place where people can open up about this kind of stuff without someone saying (under their breath), "That's weird" or "Is she okay?"

And I am no holier-than-thou know-it-all. I just need to talk to some other people about faith, hope and love, which really are quite lovely topics of conversation. I know how to have a good time, too. I always point out that Jesus' first miracle was making some wine at a party. That is a guy who knows how to have fun. Talk about a party starter! What would Jesus do? Live it up!

Maybe it's the Christian Wine Club. Has a nice ring to it and that bit of humor that gets me every time. A little irony, vocabulary surprise, and a double meaning. And, this way, people could be all over the country and we could just convene online and share the same drink. One week could be:

Fill Your Spiritual Cup With: Seeking Out the Guidance of the Holy Spirit
Fill Your Cup With: Columbia Winery 2002 Merlot
Log on at 8!

That sounds like a good time to me. Whether you are a Christian or not, I think we have lost our ability to have a conversation about things that are meaningful. It's all made so hard and people are so afraid to say the wrong thing. If we don't start to have these kinds of conversations (maybe over a nice Malbec), we only stand to get more shallow. I don't want to be shallow.

Even the advent of the blog means that I am putting this out in the universe without any sense that anyone will comment back. It's not a conversation. It's a statement. And it's a statement I am making in a room, by myself, with only a 7 lb. dog to back me up or argue with me. I want to connect with people so that I can say this all and have a conversation and not just a personal statement.

Something to Believe In

2006-04-21T15:54:00.000-07:00

Next time you are watching a movie or a TV show, remember the term “Suspension of Disbelief.” That’s the term that writers, directors and producers give to the necessary relationship between viewer and program that allows a car to blow-up without the guy standing next to it getting even a scratch, or the fact that a problem can be introduced, dealt with and solved in 22 minutes. None of these things can happen in real life, so you have to stop yourself from saying, “That could never happen,” in order to embrace the story.

Life sometimes hands us situations that require a similar response. Some might simply call it “belief.” Many call it “faith.” In any case, it seems to me that the power to believe in something or someone is the greatest power we have. It is a human power that actually can cause a transformation in what we empower. In a stage play, believing that the set is really a living room or a forest makes it so. And, more importantly, believing that someone can do or be something actually gives them the capacity to make it so. Unbelievable? Not so much.

Growing up Catholic, I learned that at the Great Amen, transubstantiation occurred. Amen roughly translates to the phrase, “I believe.” It is an incredibly powerful word through all Christian faiths. In transubstantiation, Catholics believe that ordinary bread and wine become the real physical presence of the Lord. And it is a real transformation that happens when we believe. It is the ultimate fulfillment of faith. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered that it is this foundation in faith that shapes everything I do.

In my job as a talent agent I cannot count how many times I am asked the question, “Do you think I have what it takes to ‘make it?’” Of late I realized that what they really seem to be asking is, “Do you believe in me?” That’s a powerful question to be asked regularly. I don’t have any kids yet, but I imagine that a parent is asked that in a million ways, quietly and out-loud every day. For me, it is an odd experience that strangers are hopeful that I will believe in them. Odder yet, when I do believe in people, it can have the capacity to shape their life. One actress I work with, for instance, had never done any sort of film work before and had only worked in theatre. She didn’t think that she could just make the leap, but I told her she could, and that she should. She subsequently booked just about every audition she went on. After booking a pretty high-profile job, that will be taking her to LA this winter, she called and said, “Thank you for believing in me.” I hung up the phone and cried. If in my life I am never blessed to hear those words again that will still be enough. I touched someone’s life for the better because I believed in her. Unbelievable? For me, it was.

This is not to say that I am one truly special person. Quite the contrary, I would like to submit to you that we all have this little bit of “miracle” within us. Whether you just listen to the story of the guy next to you on the bus one day, or take a child under your wing as a mentor, you can transform the lives of others. It is the “Great Amen” of life. Letting others know that we believe in them, in big and small ways, is one of the few ways that an individual can actually transform the world for the better. It is how we are called to bless others, so to speak.

I am who I am because others have believed in me. That transformation made me know myself and believe that I could accomplish the extraordinary. Once upon a time, I would never have thought that I would have had anything valuable to put into print. But, here I am writing an article, speaking my mind, and sharing my belief, because someone told me once that my voice was worth hearing. Maybe yours is, too.

Unbelievable? Absolutely not.

On Blogging

2006-04-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

So, this has turned out to be quite the fun little adventure. I don't actually know if anyone is reading this, but I sure do like writing it. It's an exercise in internal monologue for the moment. If I were an actor in real life this would be informing my daily actions. I think that's what internal monologue will do for you.

Fashionista Confessions Part I

2006-04-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

In my spare time (insert uproarious laughter here), I like to expound on fashion, pop culture and the like. That's the confession part. In a weird way it is part of my job and sort of my obsession (maybe that's the confessional moment, actually).

Alas, here is my most recent Spring Fashion Preview I have running. You can find it on a Website I love, www.RedStarHS.com. It's a teen site that is a forum for self-expression. It's a place where girls and guys can safely talk to one another without trending toward petty stuff. And kids get paid to write articles and share their experiences and views of the world. Teenage girls need it more than they even know.

Look it, live it, feel it--Come alive with the newest trends!

Long, Flowing Skirts
This is a great trend that takes you right into fall. Skirts made of breathable, soft fabrics (like cotton) wear well dressed-up and dressed-down.

Polos
Polo shirts are still hot, and a great alternative to a regular t-shirt. You’re seeing polos at all levels from Old Navy to Fred Segal. No ponies necessary, by the way.

Espadrilles
This shoe craze started last summer and is back and even bigger in 2006. Espadrilles are wedge heeled shoes that lace up the ankle. A big trend this year is embellished espadrilles with sequins or embroidery.

Dresses
You might not even own one right now, but dresses—even for daytime—are a big. Maybe try a shirt dress. You can belt it with a hot, trendy belt and play with accessories.

Romance
With a dress and flowing skirt now on their way to your closet, you can probably see that soft and pretty rule this spring. Why not add a little lace, ruffles or satin to the mix? Maybe it's just a headband and heels that you need to complete the look.

Neutral Colors
Spring’s palette isn’t dark and heavy. There’s a lot of white, along with ivory, beige and other pales that great paired with many of the other trends. Neutral laces are gorgeous. If you feel like you need a dash of color, think of those found in nature: sea blue and leafy green make great accents. And don’t forget to keep make-up neutral and simple, too.

Long-Length Shirts
You’ve probably seen them, and you may already have one or two in your closet. Tanks and tees that hit at hip level or longer are huge right now. You can belt it or wear it alone, but this is a great complement to jeans or the knee-length trend in shorts.

Novelty Purses and Bags
Let your personality shine through with what you carry. Denim, buckles, patent leather, woven materials—they all do the trick. Look for something that takes you out all day and says a little something about you. A plain black bag might be fine for fall, but look for something with a lot of sass this spring.

Jewelry
Jewelry is pretty and a little flashy this year. Longer necklaces complement the long, lean silhouette of the season and can come in gold, beads or whatever you like. Wear a few long necklaces together and play around with your options.

Subtle Glow
You can put away the bronzer for now. With a paler trend to pair with neutrals, slightly tinted shimmers are the way to get this year’s subtle glow. With so many products on the market now you can find products that give you a hint of a sun-kissed tint without going overboard. Popular brands come in multiple shades so you can look like you glow all-year-round.

Editor's Note: This all feels a little "prissy" for a blog, I think. Take it or leave it. There really aren't hard and fast fashion rules. However, nothing wrong with knowing your Huaraches from your Stilettos, I say. And this really is sort of part of my job, so maybe it all makes sense.

Why So Lost?

2006-04-18T19:36:00.000-07:00

I am addicted to “Lost.” It’s a TV series, for those of you who don’t know (yeah, right!). And it is addictive—like crack, or a Starbucks Caramel Macchiato.

For awhile my husband and I thought that we could live without TV. Crazy! Everything was going fine, from about May to October. We read, joined Netflix, and watched our own movie collection, enjoyed CDs and radio programming. We talked to one another. Then, the season premier of “Lost” came sneaking around the corner, and WHAM! We got ourselves some cable again.

Well, we didn’t, at first: We thought, gee, why get TV for one show? Then, iTunes started carrying episodes for $1.99 (a steal of a price, I might add). And, it was also a great way to hang out with my sister Wednesday nights. She loves “Lost,” too, and has cable. So, we’d rendezvous to relive our jonesing. But, at the end of the day, we realized that it was about more than “Lost.” We wanted to reengage ourselves into the public consciousness. That’s what the big lummox of a glowing box does for us.

Don’t get me wrong, when I called to schedule my cable installation one Friday, setting the appointment for the following Friday my husband said, “Seriously, you couldn’t have gotten it installed before the next episode of “Lost’?” No, I couldn’t. So, we watched it on iTunes.

It really was about more than “Lost.” I realized that the universal history that most Americans share is TV. While ratings decline channel options grow and TiVo, iTunes, and OnDemand fracture the market, it’s amazing how many people still quote “No soup for you,” from Seinfeld, “You’re Fired,” from The Apprentice or countless other pop culturisms that have imbued our language. I may tell people that I HAVE to watch “America’s Next Top Model” because it’s work-related (I’m a modeling agent), but the truth is, I want to know what’s going on in the world. And, it’s sad but true, television is the common language that this world speaks.

It’s not all bad. I’ll never forget staying up all night during Election 2000 to see the votes come in and the toss-up of whether Bush or Gore won. It was amazing watching Schindler’s List completely unedited and commercial-free on network television a few years back. Sitting in a hotel room in Las Vegas as images from the Tsunami came in from Phuket in December 2004 made me understand the world devastation that had occurred. You could even say that we know more about the world, and maybe about one another because of TV. So many perspectives, so many stories and immeasurable shared laughs could be bringing this ‘global village’ together.

Oh, and I love “Lost.” And “Saturday Night Live.” And “Scrubs.” I love TV. I have been brainwashed and I am not complaining. I long to get caught up in the stories of characters and see what happens next. There is a reason that people are inventing better TVs. People will buy them—in HD and with DVR and lots of options. We’re hooked.

Hopefully, we won’t get too sidelined on our real lives. I understand that I don’t need to know if Walt is really in an underwater hatch or if Alvar Hanso is Locke’s dad. I just want to know. I hope that I don’t ever let TV substitute for the real experiences the actual world has to offer. At the end of my life I will not be laying in bed saying, “I wish I would have watched just one more hour of Comedy Central.” I’ll wish that I had spent more time with my family or been awake to watch one more sunrise. But, for now, I need more laughs and suspense and a break from paying bills. And “Lost” does that. Television gives me those moments that I share with my sister and husband and friends--and I like it.

For all the great moments and shared experiences, I get that a lot of programming stinks. It would be nice to take out all the infotainment, bloated pundits and TV trash. Only time will tell what the TV of the future will look like. Will it be a better picture of the world, with more joy to share? Or will it just be more opportunities to “set it and forget it!” The real question is, when will TiVo come out with a crap filter?

A Whole New World

2006-04-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

So, the truth is that I have always been a writer, or at least a storyteller (certainly more on this later). Until a few years ago I thought that meant that you were supposed to write a novel or at least a short story to get published. Then I discovered the magic of Personal Essay. It can just be a few words, some random thoughts on a random topic. You can title it "On Blank," and fill in the blank with whatever you feel like talking about. It can be a page or five, funny or serious, intimate or broad. There's no commitment necessary, just a few minutes. I feel that this all befits the world of The Blog.

So, I will never write a novel, and that suits me just fine. I am officially a published personal essayist, whether anyone in the world wants it or not. Ta da! I might just be fulfilling my life's calling at 28. It's magical. Now if I could just get the rest of my life to be the same.